And here comes the next step in the battle...
DH has been working very hard to get SS to be able to repeat 1st grade.
When he and BM initially went to court when SS was finishing kindergarten, the GAL told BM she needed to re-enroll him in kindergarten again in her district. BM flipped her wig about it and said under no circumstances would her child repeat a grade. (BM repeated 4th grade herself and still struggled academcially all through school, and has terrible memories of going to the resource room and being made fun of.) One would think that she wouldn't want her child to experience the same things, but BM has taken the opposite position---that SS is fine, doesn't need to do this, etc.
So she pulled a fast one on DH and the GAL and put him in 1st grade in her district, anyway. The GAL was annoyed but there was nothing that could really be done about it.
Well, SS had an even worse year in 1st than he did in kindergarten. His final report card this past June said he is not meeting grade level expectations in reading and math. He got a bunch of satisfactories in other areas, and in behavior/conduct areas, he mostly got not meeting expectations. :( I am SURE that a lot of this is in part to the stress he's been under, and the court stuff that's been swirling over his head, etc.
and now he is getting ready to start his THIRD SCHOOL in THREE YEARS and Dh just feels (as do I ) that he badly needs this gift of time. He needs a FRESH start, a chance to feel confident in himself and his abilities. As a result of struggling in school for two years, he pretty much hates school. DH would so love to see him flourish and be confident and be happy in school.
So--DH had him evaluated by the new school---the counselor met with him, as did the 2nd grade teacher. They are recommending that he repeat 1st. This district is a better, more challenging district than his old one, and the school counselor said verbatim "not to be snobby, but we feel our curriculum is more challenging and he's not going to be prepared for it."
Unfortunately, the school cannot MANDATE that he repeat 1st, they can only recommend it. DH is all for it, and we are praying BM will agree---but Dh broached the subject a few weeks ago when he started the eval. process and she pretty much said over her dead body.
I don't understand her mentality about it at all. SS is small for his age, so he would blend right into a 1st grade class. His 1st grade teacher from last year described him as being comparable in maturity to a "young kindergartener." He struggles academically. He is just NOT ready for 2nd grade. He has been through soooo much emotionally, and it would be so great to see him be able to have some time to adjust and be ahead of the game, rather than behind.
The school counselor is going to speak w/his mom and try to convince her that this is a good choice for him. BUT if she doesn't agree---DH is stumped as to what he will do. They have joint legal custody, and I don't know that DH can legally hold him back without BM's agreement. Probably time to put a call into the attorney.