Really frustrated and fed up
I do not know what to do. I'm sick to my stomach.
My husband lied to me--AGAIN. He is out of town on a car buying trip and I have had to talk to his business partner a few times about some business info.
He brought up the car deal with BM and asked me for her email because I guess she had called HIM needing some kind of titling info. Whatever.
I gave it to him and he made some comment about how BM had dropped off a gift certificate for me and DH--a restaurant one, as a way of saying thanks. That is a nice gesture, right?
Well then partner opens his big mouth, inserts foot, and says "Hopefully, this will smooth things all over with her, I know that's what your DH was trying to do by getting her this van."
Immediately---immediately---I KNEW. I said innocently, "how much did DH make on this deal?" and his partner said "nothing, sold it at wholesale value."
Then I said "oh, that's funny, he told me he made $600."
And then his partner fumbled all over for words "oh, maybe, I don't know."
So my DH is a liar. And I don't really care the reason or whatever, he has LIED to me about stuff pertaining to BM and I am FURIOUS.
After all we have been through regarding his relationship/friendship with her, after telling me he wouldn't get involved, he has lied.
Seriously---I am so upset.
This kills me. He is my hubby and I LOVE him, but I feel like this is just all a waste of time; he should not be acting like this.
If it were me---honstly, I think I would leave---but there is my sweet girl who calls him DADDY, loves him, has honestly forgotten he is not her bio-dad. When I contemplated divorce last spring, even my own FAMILY said it would not be easy to do b/c it would devastate DD and that I should do everything to make the marriage work, if not for me, then for HER.
DH told me last spring--and has repeated it in counseling--that he would absolutely still be her dad, would adopt her, have her as much time as I would allow. There is no doubt in my mind about that---I would have to allow that because he IS her dad, and I could never take that from her. It's hard to understand if you've not been in a situation like this, but he adores her, and her him. She does not have another father, just him. He is all she has known since she was TWO YEARS OLD, and she is now EIGHT.
These lies make me think our marriage is beyond repair. I mean, what is the point of all the stupid counseling we are doing, if he is going to act like that?
UGH. Every time I bring up divorce---he begs and pleads and says he has never loved anyone like me. And 90% of the time, he is great. It's BM---and that issue---his lack of boundaries. Not that we don't bicker over stupid stuff but ALL of our FIGHTS are over THAT.
Thoughts? Am I over reacting again?
To make my morning all the worse, BM sent me a facebook message, the ONE place I never blocked her--knowing DH is out of town and saying that we have some school form at our house (???) for lunch money on SS's account and I absolutely need to meet her to give it to her today.
She packed his lunch but he just cannot survive the day without lunch money??? And I am sure that if she went into the school office, they would have given her a new form! She could have EASILY done that when she dropped SS off at school this morning.
I wrote back a brief email and said I did not have time to meet her anywhere, nor was it appropriate for her to ask; and she needed to wait until DH was back in town, which is LATE TONIGHT. I told her she could talk to him in the morning or get a new copy from the school secretary and to please not email me again.
UGHHHH. I wish I had renewed my restraining order and as far as DH goes...I do not even know what to think or do.