I need to vent here or I will wind up getting angry with DH, even though it's not his fault. It's so hard with anger in these situations---almost like I want to blame HIM for having BM in our lives, if only on the outskirts.
Okay, so this summer has been rough for BM. DUH. Who would have thought that having another baby wasn't the best idea? Basically---she and her DH are down to sharing one car, HER car. It's an SUV and her dad took out a loan for her thre yrs ago to get it, but now she is upside down on the loan PLUS her dad took over the payments two yrs ago when BM and her DH weren't making them.
Ok, so her DH has a big truck and a Honda Civic, but apparently neither of those are in working order. So her DH--for the entire summer---has been driving BM's car to work, leaving BM home in the house with 2, 3, sometimes 4 kids, depending on if SS and his stepsis are there.
Not much fun.
Anyway, as a result---DH & BM are supposed to be doing a week by week schedule but due to HER lack of a car, and inability to get out of the house much, we have had SS for 8 day stretches, while BM has been taking him for 6 day stretches. It's been great for US. SS has done a few day camps, we have pool passes, so I take them swimming all the time, we're going on a little mini-vaca to the lake next week, etc. FUN times.
So BM asks DH last week if she could get SS yesterday (Wed) for her mom's birthday party. (This is our week.)
DH said sure, but that SS was doing a camp this week (with my DD) and that BM would need to pick him up from camp at 3:30 pm and then drop him off at camp at 8:30 AM the next morning and could she do that? She said sure, she'd borrow her mom's car if she had to, or else her DH would go into work late or something.
ok, then Tues. night she calls DH and says that she actually has a dr. appt to have her IUD removed (God in heaven, WHY????) and won't be able to get SS from camp at 3:30. So can I still pick him up, since I'm getting DD anyway?
Sure. But then the prob is BM wants to get SS from DH's work; DH has been swamped at work this week, so I ended up having to drive SS to DH's work---a good 30 mins away from camp. Whatever. I dropped SS off and then I guess DH met up with BM a bit later for HER to get SS.
Then BM calls DH at 10:30 last night and says SS went to bed with a headache and is not going to camp today??? She's just going to "keep him home with her."
UGHHHH. I am so mad! SS was adoring this camp! Loving it! Each day I picked him up, it was "this is the best camp ever, guess what we did today!" Today is the last day and then there is a camp-out/sleepover tonight. He was sooooo excited about this camp and then BM has to pull this crap?
DH lit into her last night and said "don't make a decision now, wait and see how he feels in the morning." SS gets headaches occasionally and they almost ALWAYS go away within a matter of a couple hours. I have no doubt he was fine this morning.
So DH calls BM this morning and her phone is going straight to voicemail, and her home phone is disconnected.
DH called the camp office at 9 AM and they said no, SS had not arrived at camp.
So who knows what is going on, when DH will pick him back up from BM, or if SS will even make it to the camp sleepover tonight. He friggin' better! This is DH's custody week, and if he technically wanted to, he could go get SS from BM's house right now. But he's at work and BM KNOWS it.
I'm so mad. DH is mad. It's ridiculous. WE paid for this camp--DH was generous enough to give her last night with SS to celebrate his grandma's birthday--and then she pulls this. And really, money aside, SS should be at camp because it's fun for him and he likes it.
But no. Now he will sit in the house with his looney mom all day. To top that off, as I was driving my DD to camp this morning, she said she was excited to see SS and I had to tell her he might not be there today. And then she started to cry, which made me so sad. :(
To make matters worse, BM is about THIS close to losing it. I guess she is desperately trying to buy a van---because she cannot fit all the kids in her car, and her DH pretty much took it, anyway. She called DH to see if HE would co-sign a loan for her. HAHAHAHA. The audacity never ceases to amaze me. DH said no way, but gave her the # of a banker he knows, and BM apparently was going to see if HER DH's dad would cosign a loan for her.
Ok, honey---YOUR dad already cosigned loan for you on your last car, and you defaulted on it, forcing your dad to take over the payments, so it didn't screw up his credit. Now you're upside down on it, and you are going to ask your father in law to co-sign something new? My dad would knock me upside the head.
DH tells her he can get her an older van for about 4K if there's anyway they can scrape up the cash---but no, get this, she wants something newer with leather and a DVD player.
I can't handle it!!!!!
I mean, the next question, too, is---school starts in a few weeks, HOW is BM going to get SS to and from school? DH cautiously broached that with her, and she bit his head off, saying don't worry about it, she will figure it out.
I am not so sure. They live SO far from his school (30-40 mins in morning traffic) and I am just super concerned. Sharing a car is not working for them, and if SS starts having probs getting to and from school...DH is going to have to suggest WE keep him during the week. THat will NEVER go over with BM, and then that only gives DH one choice...COURT.
I need to recite the serenity prayer to myself.