Upset with DH right now - a rant
I'm pretty upset with DH right now and I don't know if I'm completely over-reacting or not.
SS8 has had soccer camp in the evenings this week; starting next week it will cut down to two weeknights for games and practices. This is BM's weekend; she is supposed to pick SS up 30 mins before practice starts. Neither DH nor I thought for one second that BM might actually take him to practice (in fairness, it is her time, even though she's almost certainly not going to do anything else with him either), but she certainly wasn't going to if she didn't know when it was.
So, DH called her last night, said it was a practice evening, and he was sure that SS would like to go and she could see him practice. She responded that DH knew she didn't like driving around down here (it's all of 50 minutes from where she lives). DH said it was less than a mile from our house and she could follow us there - she said that she would just pick him up afterward at our house. And DH agreed. All of this was during a phone conversation.
They are still under the temporary CO that very clearly dictates times, dates, drivers, etc. Most parents, of course, can work things out together but these two could not agree on the color of, um, money. Last time they came to an outside agreement, BM sat on the witness stand and lied, under oath, about it; and according to DH, she's done that every time they've gone to court.
I asked DH what he was planning to do if, now that he'd agreed to disregard the CO regarding pickup time, BM decided to just keep SS at the end of the weekend, and then tell the judge that he had agreed to that as well. He said he'd explain that he hadn't; he'd just agreed to a late pick-up, it was her suggestion and not his, blah, blah, blah. I suggested that the judge was liable to have had about enough of both of their stupidity and that if they couldn't follow a simple CO he didn't really want to hear it.
Furthermore, SS' counselor has repeatedly stressed the need for stability for him; she says he needs structure and consistency. He knows what time his mother picks him up, and now he's going to know that sometimes it can change. Sometimes - he's not going to understand why it's this time anymore than I do - it's a 90 minute practice.
Due to work schedules, I spend a lot more time at home with SS than DH does (I only work part-time, and work from home). And it is almost always me who gets most of the fall-out from visitation weekends; by about 2:00 this afternoon I will have to stop working because SS will wander in and start telling me how he wishes he didn't have to go and he'll be bored and he hopes that no one will yell at him; DH will be blithely off at work.
I told DH last night that I thought this was a horrible idea, given the circumstances, and that when the chickens come home to roost or whatever metaphor one cares to use, he'd best discuss leaving work early on visitation pickup days with his boss. Now that DH has agreed to open the floodgates of tinkering with the CO (again!), that he is going to be the one who is running around throwing up sandbags, and not me.
Sorry for my long rant. I don't know if it's me or not. I just do not understand why DH keeps doing the same stupid things over and over and over....