How I wish.........

stepmom32August 30, 2013

Trying to cope with step kids who doesn t except you in the family must be the hardest battle to take on for the rest of your life, we must also be prepared and know that hurt will always be part of it. I have had it with my step kids, im in a state now wanting to give up, since i tried to fix it all and look the other way whenever they do something wrong and trying to keep the peace ..... i just dont have the words anymore......

Now everything feels wrong in my marriage , in the way we live, to be honest the only lil thing holding us together now is our baby..... his kids has killed every little bit of respect,trust and companionship in our marriage, to be honest even our sex life took a dip.... now im starting to think maybe he is having an affair, what if he is??? i just dont know anymore..... too much stress on my plate at the moment... i just wish that somehow his kids would just except me as their fathers wife, they dont have to love me or anything, just except me.... im not going to hurt them in any way, im not taking their daddy away, im not stealing their food or anything, i just love their father... thats it , thats all i do is loving him.... why do i have to be punnished for loving someone and wanting a life and a future with the man i love.... why why why???? i was so nice to his daughter and the next thing i know she writes on my facebook wall that im not worth the surname and i better change my name cause i will never be considered as part of the family, im just a horny slut........ why do i have to try and impress these kids with nice things to eat sweets and movies clothes and shoes i even play the taxi for them..... i have never talked down to them or never did anything else but being nice to them, i even backed out when they wanted to take a family picture with only them in it, i even sat in my room, when they wanted alone time with their father, i even left the house when they wanted alone time without me there... i stopped cooking the food they disliked, and only cooked whatever they do like, i have noticed whenever i tak they have something to argue about, so i decided to be more quiet and only say things that they cant argue about, now they re calling me stuck up..... what must i do... they have got their father on their side ... he will always always stick up for them whenever they need him, but why do stuff to get him to hate me???? i know im second in his life... i do except that... why do this to me???

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colleenoz

Take your children and go back to your family. If your husband isn't on your side his kids never will be. You will keep on giving up things to try and appease them and end up being unhappy human furniture in your own home.

    Bookmark   August 30, 2013 at 7:18AM
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Misserable_monester

I'm sorry, I know how you feel and have almost the exact same situation. I wish I had advice but I'm at a loss myself. Do what is best for you and your child though, I hope everything works out for the best.

    Bookmark   August 30, 2013 at 8:38AM
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DawnSmith

I suggest family counseling. You love this man and obviously love his children or you would not go through this heart ache! Some churches offer this, there are groups out there for "blended families", all at a very little cost or no cost. Some insurances will cover counseling as well. Don't give up on your husband, he is stuck and probably doesn't know which way to turn. He may "cover" for his children because they are children.

I read a chapter in this book about teenagers and how they develop a need to control. They are so out of control with their own lives and emotions that when they find an area they can control or manipulate, they take it, even if they don't mean to, they are not trying to be mean or hurtful even though it seems clear to us they are.

You sound like a very warm loving person. I wish you the best and I hope you can find a way to bring harmony into your home!

Have you ever sat the entire family down and just said to them all, "I love you (call out each person one at a time) & I think together we can come up with a way to have happiness and smiles in this home and get rid of the frowns and negativity." Then go around and ask each person to give one idea for change. (I saw this on Nanny 911 and it worked great!)

    Bookmark   August 30, 2013 at 9:51AM
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gardenandcats

Time to stop swimming a ocean for people that won't jump a puddle for you..

    Bookmark   August 30, 2013 at 10:23PM
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sarabera

Your frustration is miss-directed. It is your husband who is really letting you down. He needs to put you first. Until he stands up for you, and demands that his kids respect you, you will never get any respect. He needs to have consequences for the terribly disrespectful things that they are doing for you. Obviously he doesn't, or they would stop. You are not going to get anywhere trying to get his kids to like you---either they will like you or they won't, but they MUST respect you, and you must demand and feel worthy of respect. Quit trying to cater to their every whim and start taking care of your self. To be honest, I would have a hard time loving a man that let his kids treat me like that.

    Bookmark   September 2, 2013 at 12:18AM
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emma

I think people confuse love with need. Some will put up anything to be with someone.

    Bookmark   September 2, 2013 at 5:07PM
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