Starting to think BM is really ill....

riznahAugust 29, 2010

Ok, things seem to be getting cooking here.

Latest developments: DH took a week off to go visit his father and then meet up with my on vacation a few days later.

BM has totally freaked out, calling him and telling him she is denying them visitation until he gets a court order. From everything I've read, this could hold her in contempt. DH is trying to retrieve his legal documents to see what his divorce papers said... but I'm pretty sure no where in there said he can't take vacations on his own! He is missing one visitation weekend, but he's making it up afterwards.... he's a great dad and LOVES his kids, I can't believe she is putting THEM through this...

So I've pretty much decided BM has some personality disorder... I'm taking a mental health nursing course right now and I can't help but diagnose!

My biggest frustration atm is that the kids and the BM report slapping the children with an open hand repeatedly. Is this not abuse? I called CPS to clarify and they said unless there is bruises they can't do anything. How is that ok? It seems like we are going to court now anyway, so I'm not sure how her treatment of the children will play in.

I'm just so frustrated right now, and hate to see my family going through such drama because this woman craves chaos to ignore her own issues!!!

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lovehadley

Oooh, she sounds so similar to the BM in my situation. I feel your pain.

There is nothing she could do to deny your husband taking a vacation on his own. Good grief. The MOST she could do is refuse to "make up" the missed visitation weekend, but that's about it.

I assume your hubby does not have a *history* of missed visitations? If that were the case, if he were repeatedly planning other things when he has his kids, and rescheduling, then she might have grounds for a change. And even THAT would have to be really bad before the courts would consider it.

I would tell your DH to not listen to her rants and raves. (EASIER said than done, believe me, I know.) Tell him to calmly say "okay" when she starts threatening or yelling and to END the conversation. Engaging with her just throws fuel on the fire.

    Bookmark   August 29, 2010 at 10:23AM
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parent_of_one

If I went to court every time my ex missed visitations, I would be staying in a court room permanently.

Unless of course dad does these things on a regular basis and messes BM's plans all the time, she is being ridiculous and unreasonable.

    Bookmark   August 29, 2010 at 12:18PM
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riznah

He does it about two times a year for his two main vacations and they are regular for the past 6 years, I'm not sure if that's considered excessive (at most 3 times a year). He ALWAYS plans it ahead of time with her. He always gets approval beforehand. He *always* makes up the time but taking up two weekends in a row afterward or beforehand. As far as I understand it from my research on the internet, visitation is considered a RIGHT by the courts, NOT necessarily an obligation. But.. when the weekend comes around, he can always expect a tirade and threats.

He's offered to do the same, but she rants at him and tells her, "you've already missed that opportunity". Not sure what she means by that.

My community health nurse instructor told me something about getting a court order that says that in issues of harassment, the custodial parent can only contact the noncustodial parent about certain issues. Does anyone have any experience with this? It is time to get this crazy woman off of our back.

    Bookmark   August 30, 2010 at 12:42AM
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