And They Came Back After the Summer
I am a custodial stepmother my youngest still lives with us BS 15, SD 12, and SS 10. They just came back today. Yesterday bm was telling us we needed family counseling because SC don't want to come back and live with us and the tension in the house (which she causes a lot of it). SS is ADHD and asthmatic she did not buy him any medicine when they were down there and when he came back still had half a month left (3 months with her) she said he twisted his ankle and couldn't take him to hospital because she did not have a card which we could have easily faxed and said we refused to send his glasses which he "forgot" to pack. Then SD comes home with 5 inch platform heels (another pair is in the mail) and bm says that is the way sd wants to be and we should let her be herself sd tried to get us to buy them and we would not. Bm is married to a marine and he just got sent overseas and says she is going to sue us for custody with the money he gets (she moved to different state). SC would rather live with her and says she going to have them talk to judge so they can. bm says her kids think there is a double standard to her kids and mine there is on both sides but part of it is age and my son has ADHD and aspersers and goes to special school. All kids are treated differently even if they are your own because they are all different people. And SC like me a little but bm lets them know it should be her raising them not me so we can't ever get really get close though I would love that. Ok now after long story the questions I have.
1) Do we fight and have them resent us until there 18 IL law (my answer is yes but I wonder if it is right)? Bm is on 3rd husband and 5th child I am afraid that she will do what she did before to 1st husband and send them back when she cannot handle them.
2) I do not want to be seen with SD 12 in 5 inch heels and I think DH would let her because bm bought them. I know it would be seen as a reflection of how I am raising them if it is seen. I do not want to go out to dh's birthday dinner knowing she will be in the heels should I let it go and just go or what?