And the drama just never ends..
I just decided to start a new thread rather than go back and find one that had the history. Most of you know my history.
Dd has been home for a month from dad's. No phone calls, no answer or return calls, she finally quit trying to have an 'on going, constant' relationship with her dad when she isn't with him. Although I've tried to encourage her and honestly I think my attempts of being the better person have hurt her more than helped.
I haven't heard anything via email so it's been a quiet month. I think I had a few things here and there but nothing really. Until this week. Then the barrage of emails began. First with a cancellation of his weekend. He has not had her in a month and he then cancels his first weekend with her. Then he emails demading to know what school she is going to attend.... Huh? We haven't moved, there have been no changes, why would he think she is changing schools? But I politely answer and move on. Then I get the email requesting (no I should say demanding...) that I list stepmom as the emergency contact. Well, I didn't list her as the emergency. Why you ask? Because I listed him as her parent. He won't give ME a daytime phone number for him, I only have stepmom's # so why would I not only list her number in his information but then list her again, wasting a space for someone else's number? And why wouldn't I list my husband as an emergency contact? He is raising her. She lives with us. And atleast I am certain that if dad and I aren't available, my husband would make the effort to locate dad in an emergency... Stepmom, I'm not so sure. She would probably use it against me that I wasn't able to be reached.
Second issue. I am not putting Dd in daycare this year. My mom is going to be picking her up from school and taking her to lessons twice a week and on the other day, I am getting off early to pick her up. It is going to save me major $$ on childcare and I can pay my mom for her time and gas, which I would rather do. On dad's days, he will have to figure out either childcare or make sure stepmom picks her up when school is out. My second reason for not wanting to pay for childcare for his parenting days, is because he was ordered to pay medical expenses starting in July. Reimbursement of health insurance and he has yet to pay a dime. He agreed to pay it, in writing with the mediator but yet he has not sent any money. Why am I going to pay for his childcare if he can't pay what he agreed to pay? So he emails demanding to know where Dd will be after school. WHY do I even have to tell him? He doesn't tell me when she sleeps over at stepmom's ex husband's house. So why am I expected to tell him what I do on my time? He doesn't offer me right of first refusal when he has to work all day during his parenting time, he let's his wife care for her. I'm ok with this because the last thing I need him doing is expecting me to let him know everytime I go to the store and leave Dd with my husband. But why the double standard??? It's so infuriating.
Being the better person and trying to show that I am not wanting to fight, I explain to him what our plan is for this year with my mom and I sharing the responsibility. After all, our order says we both can designate a competent adult to pick up the child. He then emails and tells me that if I am not available to pick her up, that I need to give him ROFR and that his wife would be available to pick her up for him.
Now let me get this straight. If I can't pick up Dd from school, I'm supposed to call him so he can call his wife to pick her up?? Why can't my mom pick her up. If he isn't going to pick her up, how is that ROFR if his wife does it for him? And then he so kindly tells me it will be $25/ day to his wife for picking up for me.
Ummmm I do not think so....
It's just never ending. I am so tired of dealing with his drama. There is no reason for us to even be emailing right now. He has not even bothered to ask HOW our daughter is doing since it's been a month since he has seen or talked to her. All he is about is demanding. Making my life miserable. He 'speaks' to me in email like I am a child. He repeats everything back to me in a 'this is what I am hearing you say, is that right' kind of way. Like I'm 5 .... Ugh!
So here we go. A new school year. A new teacher. A new schedule. Same games.
Just venting. I don't know how to deal with this. I see myself signing back up for counseling here real soon!! I've shown his email to my Parents and a friend and all said it seems like he is trying to catch me in a lie or tryin to prove that I'm doing something I'm not supposed to be doing. Like he is baiting me. Provoking me. I do know one thing. He will not provoke me. I'm not going to attack. He can keep trying but I will not respond in a negative way in writing. I can respond in my head or out loud to myself but he will not catch me being ugly or disrespectful in an email that can be used against me... He is just ridiculous!!
Or is it his wife?? I can't really tell these days. Seems like either she has taught him well or it's her, I just don't know anymore. Ahh who cares!?