appropriate gifts for a bio child?

thurmanJuly 29, 2012

My wife's birthday is coming up later this summer. What does the list think are appropriate gifts by a bio-child? For me, some things seem more "romantic"-- things like jewelry and roses and perfumes. I feel those should be given by a spouse and not a child. My S/D routinely gets things like this for my wife. I have to admit, it is very disconcerting. I know this will get me in trouble on this list, but I think she is a little warped and does not know "her role." I really think that she wants to play the role of my wife's spouse.

Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

My DD got me perfume for my last birthday. It was very thoughtful. We do not have a mini-wife relationship.

    Bookmark   July 29, 2012 at 11:13PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

I think you're the one with the warped outlook. My DD gives me flowers but not jewellery or perfume, mainly because I don't really wear much jewellery and I'm allergic to perfume. But if she did give me jewellery I would not think it odd at all. I give her jewellery and I certainly don't see myself in the role of her spouse. I've even given and received jewellery from friends.
Before she knew I was allergic to it my SIL gave me perfume, and she has given me jewellery but it's just a gift, you know? I give my MIL flowers both as gifts and for no reason at all, and she does the same for me. It's just nice.
About the only thing I would consider a spouse territory gift would be naughty lingerie. (Nice lingerie can come from anyone.)

    Bookmark   July 30, 2012 at 3:47AM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

Me thinks you have waaaayyyyy toooooooo much time on your hands this summer and are looking for things to fuss and fret over.

You're asking about your wife's birthday present from her adult child. So what do you think is appropriate inplace of a bottle of perfume or a pair of pretty earrings and/or jewelery set? I'm serious, Thurman. What do YOU recommend a grown daughter gives her mother for a present? Not just birthday, but a present at anytime for any occassion?

Oh, and a clue, Thurman, your wife nor her daughter will feel something like a generic card stating nothing but 'happy birthday' and signed simply 'first name' is the answer. Oh, and another tidbit, Thurman, your wife nor daughter won't give a rats behind what you think of daughter's gift to her's Mom's birthday, it isn't about 'Thurman' or Thurman's relationship with his wife.

You realize, right, I'm going to laugh my buns off if your adult son sends his mom a little pair of gold earrings.

    Bookmark   July 30, 2012 at 4:48AM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

Oh good children have given me perfumes, lotions, jewelry, flowers, etc. So what. I've also received these kinds of things from other family members & friends too. This kid just can't win. I'm sure you would have found something wrong with ANYTHING she gave to her mother just because it came from HER. The only thing that matters is if your wife has a problem with it and I can pretty much bet that she doesn't mind the gifts at all.

    Bookmark   July 30, 2012 at 11:17AM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

My son gave me a bracelet once. Now I'm starting to wonder if there was something Oedipal in the gift.

You judge your wife's daughter by principles and rules no one else could even imagine.

She and your wife have somehow survived your pathological aversion, but I don't know how you can stand to feel such emotions. It must be like acid in your system.

At least you do ask so that demonstrates on some level you suspect your thoughts are irrational.

    Bookmark   July 31, 2012 at 5:05AM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

I really do think Thurman is what you might call a internet Troll! I haven't and won't bite

    Bookmark   July 31, 2012 at 4:10PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

I'm not a troll. I truly am uncomfortable with it. It does show my hypocrisy, as I would probably applaud my son doing it. It hurts that she would give my wife such a personal gift and my wife so enjoy it...the SD is into competition over gifts...she tries to outgive me to "prove" how much she loves her's kind of creepy.

    Bookmark   September 2, 2012 at 10:06PM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

No, it's kind of creepy the way you interpret everything your wife's daughter does which reinforces her good relationships with her mother and half brother, is interpreted by you as some sort of rivalry. Dear God you are a jealous, petty little man.

    Bookmark   September 3, 2012 at 3:37AM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

--"It hurts that she would give my wife such a personal gift and my wife so enjoy it."--

Here's something for you to mull around with yourself, Thurman. Why is it that it 'hurts' that one of your wife's children gives her a gift, but if her other child gave her the same gift you would be happy and proud? Why is it a 'bad' thing that she enjoys a gift her child gives her? Why would it be a 'good' thing and please you if the other child gave her the same gift and she enjoyed it? Why do you see one child as competition 'trying to buy' the love of your wife and the other child basically as 'what a nice gift for you(son)to give your mother'? Why is one 'trying to buy love' and the other merely giving a nice gift in your view?

Would it somehow delight and thrill you for wife to open a gift from her daughter and announce 'oh daughter, I am so unhappy with you buying me this gift, you should not have done this, I dislike it and I dislike you thought you should gift me with such a present. Gifts like this should only come from Thurman and my son' (as she's sitting there with a tiny bottle of department store perfume in her hand).

Even you, Thurman, can surely see how totally asinine that scenario is.

It's pretty obvious from all your threads of posting here that this mother loves both her children and that both her children love her. It also seems pretty obvious that your wife loves you...why else would the lady put up with you for 20 yrs, she loves you inspite of yourself. Yet it somehow seems important to you that your wife love one child more than the other (and of course in your mind that child should be the one you created with her). That your wife should love you and your son as her 'family' and the daughter should be viewed as a competing threat endangering any realtionship you and/or your son has with the lady (wife/mother).

Thurman, you know I just have to ask. What did you get wife for her birthday?

    Bookmark   September 3, 2012 at 5:35AM
Thank you for reporting this comment. Undo

"Dear God you are a jealous, petty little man."

I agree with colleenoz on this that's just nuts.

    Bookmark   September 4, 2012 at 12:21PM
Sign Up to comment
More Discussions
Marrying Widower with Adult Children
Somebody help me, please! I am about to marry a widower...
New- Really need help..
Hi I am new here but hoping as people in the same...
Need advice please....stepson!
I am 25 and I think I have had enough of my 9 year...
I realy dislike my my step child, may even hate him at times.
Hello I am new here. I read some post on this site...
if I could tell stepmothers of adult children anything
My dad remarried last year, a year after my mother...
Sponsored Products
Zambezi African Gold Animals - Set of 4
| Dot & Bo
Serena & Lily Mercer Layette Set
Serena & Lily
Couristan Recife Zebra Indoor/Outdoor Area Rug - Black/Cocoa - 1514/0121-2X3.7
$19.00 | Hayneedle
Couristan Recife Tropics Indoor/Outdoor Area Rug - Natural/Cocoa Multicolor - 11
$49.00 | Hayneedle
16 Ga Sink Strainer Grid Cutting Board
Celadon Ribbon Candy Dish
$22.99 | zulily
"Jacqueline" Floral Grand Apothecary Jar
$2,800.00 | Horchow
Theresa Bejeweled Cross - MULTI COLORS
$795.00 | Horchow
People viewed this after searching for:
© 2015 Houzz Inc. Houzz® The new way to design your home™