Concerned about my mom
Mom and stepdad have been married for 30 years. He is my dad. I do have a 'biological dad' but he was never around and chooses not to be around now. My stepdad and I are close. I was 3 when he entered my life. He walked me down the aisle. He was outside the door for each of the births of my children. He has an amazing relationship with my husband. I would consider them the best of friend's. They do guy things together. Have a lot in common. My dad calls me just about every day. My mom calls me too. There is not a day that goes by that I don't talk to both of my parents. My parents are very close to my children as well. My mom picks up my daughter from school and takes her to dance a couple of times a week for me. In fact my son is with my parents right now for the week and they will have my daughter for a couple of days too. We are just an extremely close family. My mother raised us this way. I'm close to my sister and my brother. I talk to my sister daily and text my brother every couple of days. He lives out of state.
Hope that paints the correct picture of our family. My husband was a little taken aback by our closeness in the beginning of our relationship because he does not have this type of relationship with his parents. They also live 10 hrs away where my parents live about 20 min from us. My parents have never missed a dance recital, a soccer game, a school program. You name it, they are there. Now my husband is used to the closeness of our family but at first he did not really accept it very well. It drives him crazy sometimes because we might see my parents three times a week for dinner. We spend weekends together. We are currently planning next summers vacation to my dad's hometown in south Dakota as a family. We are all going. We are all going camping in August a a huge family. We are all traveling for thanksgiving to see my brother. We enjoy being together.
Well recently my mom has started complaining about my relationship with my dad. She says it's not healthy since he isn't my biological dad. However if I were to seek out my bio dad and attempt a relationship with him, she would flip out. It seems like all of a sudden she doesn't want me to have a dad at all. I am the only one that is this close to him. He never have children of his own. We are it. My sister is close to our real dad. My brother is too far to be close to anyone. And I have my stepdad. I don't think there is anything unhealthy about our relationship as a father and daughter. It is no different than my relationship with my mom. An example of what's been going on is: I'll call my dad and we will decide to meet for dinner. He will say, call your mom and work out the logistics and one of you call me back. I'll call mom and say 'I just talked to dad and we want to meet for dinner, what do you want to do?' her response will be oh my gosh!! He calls you more than he calls me! Why didn't he call ME and ask ME what I want for dinner? So I stopped calling her for him. Now I say 'can you call her and just call me back when you decide?
Then today, I emailed him and her a list of the places I want to see on our vacation next year. He called me becase he hates email. She never responded because she hasn't checked her email yet. When we met for dinner tonight, I asked if she got my email? She said no. So I gave her the gist of it and said well I talked to dad and he suggested... And she said 'why do you always call him so much?' I said I didn't. I emailed you both and he called me!
My dad told me that she has been complaining about us talking all the time but he says he doesn't care. He isn't going to let her jealousy come between us because I'm all he has.
What do I do? I feel like my mom is jealous but yet this is what she always wanted. She wanted us to see him as dad. As Much as that sounds like PAS it kind of was but my real dad has been MIA for so long I made up my own mind no matter what was ever said to me. I am so sad to think I need to put some sort of brakes on my relationship with the only dad I know. Any advice?