Wow what a week!

liesbethJuly 17, 2009

OMG I'm so excited!!!! SD13 is going to come and live with us for a week at a time, weehoo!!

It's been a big week.

Yesterday SD13 told us that the only thing keeping her at her mum's was her pets. FDH said that she can bring the pets here if she wants.

We already talked about that because we already knew that this was going to come up one day. BM buys the skids a ton of pets, it's like a bribe. And once the novelty wears off the pets are neglected and quite a few have starved to death/ died of mystery diseases/ had 'heart attaches' etc etc. But all the more reason to buy more pets right? Normally we would not have said SD13 can bring the pets because it's just not what you do, but our situation is different from a normal situation.

SD11 rang BM after dinner that night and told BM what SD13 had said and how we responded. SD13 got blasted and I found her in her room all upset and crying. That always breaks my heart a bit, the poor kid. She's such a lovely girl and she gets such a hard time from her mum.

Anyway, we've learned from this to be more careful about what we say and when we say it.

Tonight SD13 rang her mum back because she wanted to work things out, and amazingly she did. She's allowed to come to our place a couple of days early and she's allowed to bring her rabbit and her axolotl. (The dog, the cat, the birds, the rats, the fish and the hermit crabs will have to stay there - thank goodness :-).

But how about that. I still can't believe it, BM is scoring BIG points here for allowing SD to make her own decision. We are stoked.

For now we will leave child support the same, let's see how it goes first (and let's not push BM's buttons straight away) but we'll get her a school uniform and some more clothing.

How quick things can change :-)

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kkny

Good luck.

I have never allowed DD pets -- Dogs which I love, just too much work and I would feel quilty leaving them alone while everyone is at work/school. Cats -- severe allergy.

    Bookmark   July 17, 2009 at 11:34PM
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liesbeth

We have our own dog so that would be the only pet we do not want from BM's place. Our dog is trained and well-behaved and we'd like to keep it that way.

What a bummer you've got allergies :-(

    Bookmark   July 17, 2009 at 11:47PM
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organic_maria

I'm the opposite, Love cats, and dogs...but highly allergic to dogs. I became allergic to them after 16 years of work...my lungs wouldfill up with liquid if i came to a home or a place with dogs.
Had ot give up my own dog:( Roxy was a great dog! Loved my boxer!
I hope it all works out. sounds like sd13 really wants to be with you guys.
How about SD11?

    Bookmark   July 18, 2009 at 7:53AM
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liesbeth

SD11 is the one who feels she needs to look after her mum. She's not coming to stay for a week yet, but my guess is that she eventually will. SD13 has always taken care of SD11 (from when they were little, like 3 and 5 yrs old) and SD11 will probably get a surprise when she doesn't have SD13 there for her. But at first it will be great because BM will probably spoil SD11 on those days to reward her for staying. So we'll see what will happen.

    Bookmark   July 19, 2009 at 11:32PM
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justnotmartha

Congrats, and way to go SD13 for having the courage to speak her mind! I'm sure you are right, SD13 will get the cold shoulder and SD 11 will be the rewarded golden child, but that will pass. As long as SD13 understands what mom is doing she shouldn't be too hurt.

PS - shame on SD11 for causing drama and calling her mom to 'tattletale'!

    Bookmark   July 21, 2009 at 3:02AM
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