How would you respond to this?
We took the kids to a movie this evening.
We were talking about it this afternoon, deciding what to see, and one of the possibilities was Ice Age. SS said no b/c his mom wants to take him to that.
So we all decide to see the movie Up. Went tonight and it was SUPER cute, a really enjoyable movie, even for adults!
The first thing SS said when we got out of the theater was "that was an awesome show!" He and DD talked about it and laughed the whole way home.
Get home and SS calls BM to say goodnight as we are all sitting out on the back patio. She must have asked him what he did b/c he said "saw Up" and then all of a sudden his tone of voice totally changed. He said "I'm sorry, Mom" and then a few minutes later he said really dismally, "it was okay" followed a minute later by "we can see Up again." Then he got off the phone and started to get all teary. DH asked him what was the matter and he said "my mom wanted to see Up with me."
Then DH said 'I thought your mom wanted to take you to see Ice Age?" And SS said "she wanted to take me to both of them."
And then he just went off inside to his room. :( DH went in after him and talked to him, but didn't really get him smiling again. DH said SS just kept saying that he missed his mom and felt bad that she wanted to go to the movie.
It is just so, so frustrating. This is definitely not the first time this stuff has happened. I can totally understand BM's disappointment when SS does stuff w/us that she would like to do with him--but when she makes comments like that and has him APOLOGIZING to her, all that does is suck the fun out of things for SS.
And it totally put a damper on his evening, and I HATE that he feels guilty over doing something fun with us. It just shouldn't be like that.
Anything else DH should have said to him? UGH. DH was so p*ssed off, he wanted to call BM back and talk to her about it, but just decided against it. There is no point in trying to reason w/her. He tried to a few nights ago--talked to her about how SS is really beginning to pick up on the tension between the two, and he and BM really need to work better at keeping him sheltered. And BM actually said something about "I have no intentions of getting along with you or sheltering him b/c I want him to see exactly the kind of guy you are."