I am wondering what some of you might think of this situation.
My DH has 2 DD. (My SD's) They live in England and we live in Florida. Their mom and my DH broke up long before I was ever on the scene and had more to do with their mom than my DH. (for the record)
Both SD's have 3 kids each, no jobs and one has a lazy loser BF without a job and the other one broke up with her loser so she is a single mom. They are both in their mid 20's.
Here's the situation that happened. Since January, my DH had called and called and finally when he got through after months of trying, the eldest SD accused him of lying about calling and said her cell phone worked perfectly fine and hung up on him. ????? Very bizarre behavior IMHO.
After calling again for several days, he got through and finally we both decided he needed to go over there for some 'real' face time. Thinking maybe if they all connected in real life, things would be easier on the phone. So we used up a ton of savings (we are self employed and work very hard) so he could fly over there, rent a car and pay for all the food for all six kids and the SD"s and the BF as none of them has a penny.
Upon his return, he called and called and called again. Got through a couple of times and then that was it. Silence again. He had not gotten to talk to either of them since June 2nd. Then today, he got a message on Facebook where the eldest one asked him to send money for a bouncy castle for her youngest daughter's bday.
When he phoned, she picked up for once. He told her how sad he was that he had been calling her repeatedly and been unable to get through. She accused him of lying again. (again, very bizarre!!!) He didn't know what to say and eventually got angry and upset and said something he regrets now ... something to the affect of how she only contacts him when she needs money (true) and wishing her lazy boyfriend would just get a job to earn the money for his daughters bouncy castle. (the lazy bf seems to spend the dole money on buying cigarettes, beer and pot.)
At which point, SD hung up on DH and now he is just feeling awful and not knowing what to do. He tried ringing her back a hundred times but of course, she will not answer.
As the wife stuck in the middle, his guilt is destroying our marriage as it turns to self hatred. He gives his daughters the power to ruin his life and I have said as much. He is always terrified of saying the wrong thing to either of them for fear they will not contact him at all. He always feels like they simply do not care if he lives or dies. And I hate to say... I think he is right. They are quite self absorbed. Even though they have no money to speak of, they seem to carry a sense of entitlement that I've never seen before.
At this point, I'm just very sad. My DH is heart broken and does not know what to do. He feels that when he doesn't talk to them, life goes better. But that seems awfully tragic and alien to our usually loving lifestyle and point of view.
Any words of comfort, advice, thoughtful suggestions are welcome. I apologize for writing such a long tirade. It seemed like a back story was necessary to fill in some aspects.