Help with my step son
I have been with my husband and my step son for 6 years, since my step son was 5, and my husband and I were married 2 years ago.
Since I've been with them, my step son has been a challenge, not just for me, but for everyone, his father included. His mother is not in the picture, and i became the mother role, however being the mother figure to this boy has been so hard I don't think if i wrote a book I could explain how challenging this has been. He has something wrong with him mentally, we are trying and have been trying for 6 years to get him help. He his uncontrollably hyper, his mouth moves faster than the speed of sound (talking all the time), he has ticks, and figgits and makes noises, and so much more, that is hard to deal with but I understand that he can't really control it. However there is another side to him, he seems like he has ODD but not the evil side of it. He doesn't WANT to annoy people or make them get mad at him or make them stressed out because he gets angry with himself when he does it and cries when someone asks him to stop the tapping or the clicking or the figgiting. IT IS SO STRESSFUL when he argues, because although he doesn't mean to make people angry, it is almost as if he can't help but argue with adults ESPECIALLY ME, he argues with his only friend, his class mates, his teachers, his step-grand parents, his dad, he doesn't leave anyone out, usually authority figures. When it comes to me, i've been in his life long enough that I do discipline him, and I do yell at him, and I am pregnant with my second child now, and simply telling him that because he hasn't brushed his teeth in a FREAKING WEEK that its becoming a problem and i have to make sure he brushes his teeth, he yells at me "I KNOW YOU TOLD ME" but this childs memory is smaller than an ant brain, he can't remember what he did two seconds ago, so we tell him, we have to remind him, and he fights and argues and 'm so stressed i'm ready to jump in front of a car. I have tried the quiet time I have tried the leave it alone let his father deal with it, i have tried so many things i am just at a loss. He almost deliberately comes in my face and wants me to tell him what to and not to do just so he can fight with me.
He asked me if he could stay up to watch a movie and I said to him not tonight because it will be past your bed time, and he turned it into a huge blow up, i have been patient with him for years and now i've just become tired of arguing with him, and i'm not going to just let him do what he pleases, and I am home with him for the majority of his life and his father is at work, i am his primary care giver and i am obligated to look after him and discipline him, however when discipline him and he makes a huge stink and hits himself, I get scrutinized by his father for arguing with him. I don't know what to do anymore. I have enough stress in my life with my 15month old daughter, i'm pregnant again, I am a type 1 diabetic and I lost my sight in my left eye due to surgeries and glaucoma and cateracts, and i'm only 24 years old. I can't do it anymore and I need help. someone suggest something that we haven't tried already please.