The summer trip ending from hell

thurmanJuly 19, 2012

My wife, bio-son and i had a nice vacation planned. Two weeks away! Wife has changed end of trip to see adult sd. I wasn't happy but went along with it. Then wife changed to now spend the night at the sd's place. It is a small apt. I volunteered to stay at local hotel: this way, after all that driving, i can enjoy a pool and a/c and my own space. Wife is adamant about us spending "family time together." how can i be wrong here?

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You went along with the change of vacation plans. One point for Thurman. I'll give you a second point if you pick up the phone and book a room for the night you'll be in SD's town.

There is a major difference between 'family time together' and smashing four people into a shoebox...shoeboxes are not enjoyable for anyone and puts a burden on the host. SD is not set up for three houseguest. Even if SD graciously made the offer and might knock herself out being a great hostess and make you as comfortable as possible, I would decline.

I love my kids to pieces, but I don't spend the evening overnight in their home. Not that I'm not welcome. It'd be nothing to do with my kids, I'd be me. I like my own space, like driving away when I've had enough.

No reason though you can't still spend the waking hours of the evening with SD. Let her pick place of dining, the evening entertainment blah blah blah...she's hosting you in her town and you will be her guest. You can get up early from your refreshing slumber at hotel and all go out for breakfast together. Quality 'family time together' without cramping into a shoebox and invading privacy of anyone.

I could live without hearing Mother snore all night or Thurman pass gas in the morning.

Have a great vacation, Thurman. If wife wants to sleep over at her daughter's, book a room for son and you. Son is old enough to choice where he'll sleep, don't be angry if he rooms with his sister. If slumber parties are 'their' thing, let them have it. It's not my 'thing' and it's certainly nothing against my children.

    Bookmark   July 20, 2012 at 4:44AM
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I agree with JMT.
Sleep at a hotel, shower, get dressed, check out and go right to SD's for quality family time.
Can you spin it as "It'll be sooooo nice for you and SD to have a little time alone, etc etc"?

    Bookmark   July 22, 2012 at 4:49PM
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Tell wife that she and SD need a little mom/daughter bonding time while you and the bio-son ride the water slide at a hotel somewhere. Then, buy everyone brunch the next morning. You'll be a hero.

    Bookmark   July 23, 2012 at 4:28PM
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Thurman! Where's our update? I've been wondering how this panned out.

    Bookmark   August 12, 2012 at 11:45PM
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Thanks for asking. Not too bad. I did get a room alone. Delayed my participation as late as possible and it left only a few hours to kill before we headed out. Slightly annoying but not as awful as it could have been!

    Bookmark   September 2, 2012 at 10:03PM
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Slightly annoying but not as awful as it could have been!

Is that a quote from your SD?

    Bookmark   September 2, 2012 at 10:05PM
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It would only have been awful because you made it so. Frankly with the hostility you have always displayed towards your stepdaughter, that she would even consider giving you houseroom shows she is the bigger person.

    Bookmark   September 3, 2012 at 3:39AM
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