How do I deal with my step-father? (long, sorry)
Youre probably going to rip me a new one, because IÂm a step-kid, not a parent but IÂm going to post this here anyway. Becasue I have to talk to somebody.
IÂve got a problem with my stepfather, and I donÂt know how to deal with him. I was hoping somebody not involved might have an idea what I can do. IÂm sorry this is going to be long to explain. Sorry to bother you.
My mom married him 6 mo.s ago. He moved in with us with his son and daughter, which I thought would be the problem because our school is really clicky and heÂs on the football team and sheÂs really popular and IÂm not. Some of his friends had beaten up some of my friends although he wasnÂt involved in that. But it turned out okay. IÂve always said that labels are evil and the clicks are stupid and once we got to know each other, we got along fine. It even made school better, since his friends donÂt want to make him made at him by picking on us freaks. HeÂs 16, sheÂs 18 and IÂm 15.
My stepfather thinks that IÂm the anti-christ or something. I canÂt do anything right! I get yelled at for everything. Things that he ignores with them. TheyÂve even noticed it and defended me which is nice, but embarrassing. For example, he thought it was my music cranked up tonight and he was shreiking to turn it off. But when he found out it was my step-brotherÂs, then it was okay. Last week, my step-sister and her friends were smoking weed in her room and he smelled it and of course it was me not her. It gotten so whenever anything happens I expect to be blamed.
My mother has defended me too, mostly because heÂs always running down how I was raised and that was by her. They fight alot about me, and thatÂs always my falt too. WeÂre worried that theyÂll brake up. My step-sister says that he feels guilty about devorcing their mom, so he lets them get away with murder. I kind of like having a family. It was just my mom and me before. I donÂt think heÂd let me have any kind of contact or vitistiation or whatever if they get a devorce because he thinks IÂm a bad influence on his kids. HeÂs told my mom that. Anyway, he made my mom really happy before they got married and I want her to be happy.
IÂve got some peircings and I dye my hair, but my momÂs okay (not thilled) with that stuff, and my grades are better than either of his kids! IÂm straight-edge, but he wonÂt believe I donÂt do drugs. I donÂt want to change to way I look because I LIKE the way I look. And I think IÂve given up enough! I have to share my room with my stepbrother, gave away about half my stuff to make room for him and gave away my cat cause my stepsisterÂs allergic. It shouldnÂt matter what a person looks like cause you shouldnÂt judge by appearences. And I donÂt think itÂd make any difference anyway, because he says itÂs the way I act and I donÂt know how to change how I am. I donÂt think IÂm a bad guy. IÂm not rude. IÂm kind of quiet and I keep to myself alot. IÂm way more responsible than my steps! I am used to doing things for myself more, because my moms always worked. (I still do about half the housework.) ItÂs like he picks fights with me. He can get away with saying all kinds of rude things, like how the way I look disgusts him, that would never be exceptable for me to say! What can I do?! ItÂs like if I keep to myself and just read or work on the computer, IÂm sulking and if I hang out and joke around, IÂm being disrespectful.
Tonight he called me perverted and said nobody likes my behavior, because I was flirting with my stepsister. ItÂs a joke! I wasnÂt doing it in front of him, we didnÂt know he was in the kitchen. ItÂs just become a running joke with us, I donÂt even remember how it got started. ItÂs not for real. We do it cause my stepbrother (who IÂm much closer to) said it creeps him out, someone he thinks of like a brother flirting with his sister. So now we got to do it. I mean itÂs so exagerated no one could thing it was serious! She kicked my feet off the couch so she could put her feet up, and I told her not to kick me and she said sheÂd kick me if she wanted and I asked her if sheÂd wear high heels when did it. She laughed and step-brother went Âoh-god-eeuuÂ. End of story. Except my stepfather comes in and explodes!
Was this really wrong? Should I not talk to them like theyÂre friends? They ARE my friends by now. We were all just setting around watching tv, nobody had any problem until he came in. I sometimes think heÂs the least mature person in this house. What do I do? How do I handle him? Is he right, am I that bad? When I stand up to him, IÂm rebelling. If my mom does, sheÂs letting me walk all over her. If my steps do, IÂve corrupted them. How can I win? What do I do?