Does it ever let up?!?!?! BM not allowing SS on vacation
Do you ever feel like there is nothing you can do about a horrible situation? Well that's the position that I'm in at the moment.
To give you a little history. I married my DH just this past March. He has a son, 9, who lives with his mother. They were never married, and while they do have a child support agreement (which is way too much for one child & based on complete fabrication on BM's part, but I digress), they do not have a custody agreement. Up until recently the arrangement was usually civil, even if it wasn't amicable, and we had SS every other weekend and parts of most holidays. That all is if it was convenient for BM. For instance, BM never wanted him on Memorial Day or Labor Day weekends since she is down at the shore partying with her friends. Christmas is always a struggle.
BM is 31 years old and lives with SS at her mother's house. Also in the house is her mother, stepfather, half-brother, and half-sister. SS has to share a room with his 16 year old uncle. (At our house SS has his own room.)
Now for the latest bomb shell...
Last night we received the call from SS that BM is not allowing SS to go on our vacation to the OBX in 3 weeks. This has been planned for months, was mentioned to BM (even though now she claims it never was) and SS has been talking about it all along. BM is claiming that SS is not safe with DH and "what if the waves are too rough and you would be in the ocean alone." She actually said this! We are going with 5 other couples, of which all of them have children, except for one and the girl is the sister to one of the mothers going. There will be 7 other kids: two 6 month olds, one 2 year old, three 3 year olds, and a 5 year old. The amount of parental supervision on this trip will be ridiculously high. Not to mention that we would never allow SS in the ocean by himself!
This is on top of the fact that BM's mother is taking SS to the OBX this weekend for a weekÃ¯Â¿Â½and it is DH's weekend. That was part of the agreement, knowing that SS is going to be away for one of our weekend, so he can the be away with us for our whole vacation.
Beyond BM claiming SS is unsafe with us, she is now saying that he can't go since they are going to Ocean City and have 2 other things going on that weekend.
SS kept DH on the phone for almost an hour saying how much he wants to go. At the end all DH could say was that he will talk to BM, that he wants him to go with us too, and that if he isn't allowed to go it isn't his decision.
While he maintains a good front for SS, this tears up DH! He would never do anything to put SS in danger and is angered that BM thinks that he ever would. It just seems to never end & is now causing stress in my life. Which is very dangerous, since we recently learned that I am pregnant with our first child. (I'm sure BM will flip once she learns this too.)
Does it ever get better and does anyone have any advise for how to cope/deal/handle the situation????????