Welcome or Figure it Out?
Hi. This is a helpful forum, so I will post my next dilema!
My fiance will be going to a sober living home shortly, for 90 days. It is about 75 minutes from my home and his 5 yr old son's home. (we live in the same city)
My fiance will get 1-2 passes and also day passes during this time. He has little to no money, so when he is able to be away from the sober housing, he will most likely stay with me.
I know (from past behavior) that he will expect to use my home as a landing pad to spend time with his son, expecting also that his son can spend the night. I need to tell him this cannot be the case/expectation.
My reasons are: I cannot absorb the expense (food, entertainment, utilities, batteries for the Wii remote that gets way over-played), he has not established any boundries or discipline with his son so it is not a harmonious time, his son drives my children crazy with his lack of manners and discipline and uncontrolled behavior.
So: how to I let my finance know my home is not a revolving door for him to use at his will and that any time he spends with his son needs to be away from my home? At this point I feel I can't be 100% honest about the above concerns because finance is blind to it all. He needs to focus on this recovery and quality time with his son at this point, but I can't disrupt the happiness I currently have in my home with my children. That is not fair to them - or me!