I think I may be free soon!!!!!

helpwiththisJuly 30, 2009

I have posted on here a few times about my situation with my sister. Just to recap my sister moved in with her young child after going through a bad break-up with the father of her child. Since moving in she has gotton lazier and lazier to the point of ridiculous. I have had many talks with her and things never improve for a long period of time. The only talk that went well was when I told her that starting at the beginning of this school year I was done babysitting for her. She accepted that.

Well her child's b-day is coming up and she wanted to have a party at my home with all our family and friends. We told her fine but clean up is all on her. The other day she was talking about all the running around she had to do the day before the party and I reminded her that she also had a whole house to clean that day for the party! She got mad and began yelling that there are only 2 of them here and 4 of us and her party was going to be in the yard...blablabla!!!

I told her that if anyone is coming to my home I expected it clean! I am not asking her to put our things away. I told her I would expect floors clean, bathrooms wiped down, dishes done, counter clean, etc. And then I told her I am sick of her laziness around here when it comes to cleaning. And I told her that I do not care if she is a family of 2, she lives in my home and is expected to help clean up. She uses the bathrroms and walks on the floors---no reason why she should not have to clean them! She said she will cancel the party and I told her to go ahead and I will be sure to tell them all the reason it was cancelled is because she refuses to clean.

So she has not cancelled the party and says she is going to take care of the cleaning. Just to make sure I made plans with my kids the day before the party to make sure we will be gone for a few hours while she is cleaning!

So now others are telling me she is moving out and getting a place with her new boyfriend! The guy has cheated on her, lied to her, borrowed money from her and not paid it back, and the list goes on! I hate to see her move in with another loser but I am done helping. I asked her if she is moving in with him and she says she is not sure but they are looking and she is looking for a place for just her and her child as well. I told her I did not kick her out, that moving is her choice. And she said she knew that.

So I am going to give it a month. If she is still here I am sitting her down and telling her that if she wants to continue living here there are new stipulations that will be followed. She will have chores and be responsible for making some dinners. If she does not like it then she knows where the door is.

I am ready for her to move! Never again will I help someone out. After all I have done for her from letting her move in, to free babysitting she has been ungrateful.

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I think you're asking too much and kind of taking advantage of the party situation because you are angry with her past behaviors. So now, you're exerting your muscle just because you can. Why is all the cleaning up to her? Do you not make sure these things get done daily/weekly in your household? Do you and your children not have daily/weekly chores to make sure the bathroom gets cleaned up, the kitchen, and so on? Why is it that suddenly no one has chores or has to do their chores because your sister wants to have a party? I could see the cleanup after the party being totally her responsibility but not beforehand. I could see you making her help out beforehand but not everything.

    Bookmark   July 30, 2009 at 4:27PM
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I totally understand. I have had people stay with us, and while it is good for a bit, once you realize all the extra clean up that goes along with it, it isn't that great. Especially if they stay longer than a normal visit. A little help on cleanup is totally acceptable in my opinion.

    Bookmark   July 30, 2009 at 4:34PM
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Me and the kids do clean the house up daily. Whenever we are cleaning she goes and runs errands or hides out in her bedroom.

But with 3 kids running around the house all day and two dogs it does need constant cleaning. I am not asking her to clean up our things. All I am asking is that before her party she makes sure the bathrooms are clean and all the floors are clean and wipes things down and makes sure dishes are done. Its the same stuff we do daily and that I do before having my own parties.

As it is she does so little around here. If she is planning on using our home for a party she can get it ready for company that day. Otherwise she can pay to have her party somewhere else.

    Bookmark   July 30, 2009 at 5:25PM
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I don't think that's going too far to ask that!
Heck, my bridal shower was at my brother's house (hosted by my bridal party, but both are from OOT and my brother kindly offered his place). Unfortunately, my brother is not much of a housekeeper (to say the least), so I went over a few days before and spent hours cleaning his house for my shower. After the party, my sister and SM did all the cleanup, leaving him with a sparkly clean house.
I think a GOOD cleaning is the least you do when you host a party in someone else's home - even if you live there too.

I've had housemates in the past, and that has always been our deal - it's fine if you have friends/family over, but you deal with the mess.
Even with DH, that's our deal.

I'm sorry to hear your sister is taking drastic measures and is being a putz, but you're NOT being unreasonable.

    Bookmark   July 30, 2009 at 11:57PM
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i don't think it is too much to ask. Now if she would help clean every day, it would be too much to asker, but she never helps so she should at least clean for the party. Why do you have to do that? You do enough.

    Bookmark   July 31, 2009 at 7:55AM
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