An Article On Yahoo Today Is The EXACT Reason Why...........

ashley1979July 8, 2011

....I DO NOT want X's GF having any access to DS without X or I around. This is why I don't want people "calling" her SM when she isn't married to X, giving others (such as the daycare she picked him up from and the school that accepted a report card that she signed) the impression she has any type of authority or legal rights to my son. IDK if GF is capable of doing any harm to DS, but she is just cooky enough for me to worry about it.

The BD of the dead children let the BF pick them up from him. If he hadn't done that, those boys would still be alive. Read below:

Brothers, 3 and 4, found dead in car in Wisconsin.

By TODD RICHMOND - Associated Press : AP � Wed, Jul 6, 2011MADISON, Wis. (AP) � The dead bodies of 3- and 4-year-old Wisconsin brothers were found in a parked car early Wednesday morning and the boyfriend of the children's mother was arrested, Madison police said.

The children's names have not been released and a cause of death has not been determined pending autopsies, said police spokesman Joel DeSpain. He said investigators are treating the case as a double homicide and the boyfriend is their primary suspect.

Police said the boys' 22-year-old mother arrived at police headquarters Tuesday afternoon and reported she had an altercation involving a knife a day earlier with her 28-year-old boyfriend at their apartment. Police didn't offer any further details.

The Associated Press is not identifying the boyfriend because he has not yet been formally charged. Police have not named the mother.

Several hours later, the woman returned to the couple's apartment and contacted the boys' biological father. The father told the woman that her boyfriend had picked the children up from his apartment. The boyfriend told him he was going to take the boys to meet with the mother's family and go shopping for shoes.

About 45 minutes later, the mother called police again and reported the children were missing and they were with her boyfriend. Police checked various addresses and tracked the boyfriend's movements through his cell phone, Police Capt. Joe Balles said.

Around 1 a.m. Wednesday morning, the boyfriend called police and told them he was in a vehicle with a woman who had convinced him to turn himself in.

A few minutes later he pulled into a police station parking lot and was arrested on a parole violation stemming from the alleged domestic dispute, Balles said. He didn't offer any details about the other woman.

The children weren't in the car and the search for them continued. Balles declined to comment on what, if anything, the man told officers after he was arrested.

Shortly before 3 a.m., an officer discovered a gray Volvo that police believed the boyfriend had been driving earlier in the day parked in front of a medical testing lab on Madison's east side. The officer discovered the children's bodies in the car.

Balles said the lab apparently has no connection to the case and he didn't know who owned the Volvo.

Chief Noble Wray said surveillance cameras in the parking lot show the vehicle was parked there around 7 p.m. Tuesday evening.

Online court records show the boyfriend has a lengthy criminal record.

He was convicted of felony battery by a prisoner in 2002, fleeing an officer and disorderly conduct in 2003, 2nd-degree recklessly endangering safety in 2004 and false imprisonment in 2006. In that case, he accused his girlfriend of cheating on him and held her in her basement with a pellet gun.

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Personally, I think the mother is largely at fault for getting involved with this guy in the first place. As a single parent, there is a huge responsibility to who you allow your children to be around & this guy has a long criminal record, he's been in prison, etc. and they had an incident involving a knife the day earlier?

The courts SHOULD listen to complaints about the ex's new relationship from parents & I think every parent SHOULD run a background check on any new BF/GF of their ex. They have every right to know who is around their kids. Unfortunately, the courts assume that parents are making reasonable decisions & would not put kids in harms way... so when a parent complains about the new relationship their ex is in, they appear to be jealous or overstepping into something that isn't their business. I'm sure that's true a lot of the time, but if there is evidence that there is reason to be concerned... the court should listen. Usually they don't. They give the benefit of the doubt most of the time and then a tragedy like this happens. Just so sad!

    Bookmark   July 8, 2011 at 1:10PM
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It sounds as if this BF should have never been allowed around these children ...ever, never, not even at their mother's house. It sounds as if this mother had little concern for the safety and well being of her children in the first place. And Dad? What's up with that? Who lets their children take off with anyone who is not expected to be picking them up at least without verifying with the absent parent. Why was father not informed BF and mother are fighting with knifes (fighting at all).

But this incident could have occurred whether the BF was a BF, father or stepfather. Angry and/or hurt people can do awful things.

With that said. Can't say I blame you for objecting to a GF signing anything school related, Ashley. I would not blame you either if you did not allow others (no matter who they are) to pick up your child. Especially if you were not pre-informed that someone other than your ex was picking the child up. I seriously think it's a good idea to phone the day of pick-up just for clarification on who and when pick-ups will be.

I would hope any parent fighting with or other wise estranged from a BF, SF, husband whatever would also have sense enough to phone the school/opposite home, inform them of the changed situation and be assured that the child/children will not be released to a possible danger.

--"This is why I don't want people "calling" her SM when she isn't married to X, giving others (such as the daycare she picked him up from and the school that accepted a report card that she signed) the impression she has any type of authority or legal rights to my son.--"

This should not be happening even if you absolutely knew she was the safest/nicest person who ever lived. I'd seriously have a discussion with the school over what is acceptable and what is not and follow it up with your ex who has no business handing off his responsibility to GF. Currently this GF is no more to your child as far as the school should be concerned than a strange lady. She's nobody as far as dealing with your child in a school situation. GFs come and go, they are not reliable fixtures in a BF's life. He could dump her at any minute, kick her out the door blah blah. It's not up to a school to keep up with who the latest lady/gentleman a parent might be 'dating' now or shacking up with. They should not be on the emergency contact list nor the 'allowed to' list.

    Bookmark   July 8, 2011 at 1:32PM
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What a terrible tragedy...

While I sympathize with the idea that Dad's GF is nothing to the child (I had big territory disputes with my Ex's GF - now wife), I've seen the other side of the coin as well. BioDad authorized his GF to act as his agent with the school and DS's doctor -- and given that authorization from BioDad, I could object until I was blue in the face, but the school and doctor had every reason and right to honor Biodad's request and consider me unreasonably jealous. Which they did until I shut up about it.

Of course, BioDad's GF (now DS's SM) was not a convicted felon...

    Bookmark   July 8, 2011 at 3:22PM
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Oh so sad. The dad should never have allowed the BF to leave with the kids without first hearing from mom.

This is MY personal policy. No one is allowed to pick up my children from anyone unless the parent with possession has notified the person with the kids. The school/daycare and other family know that if anyone other than me or Dh show up, me or DH must be contacted. There are no people listed as authorized to pick up from school but me and Dh and for Dd, her dad is able to pick up. Even SM is not allowed to pick up unless I call or email the school. I have my own reasons for not trusting SM and I would not put it past her to use Dd if her and BD ever get into a battle/divorce.

    Bookmark   July 9, 2011 at 11:00AM
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I agree with Ima. It seems like the courts too often assume that any worry or concern about a parents' BF, GF or spouse must be caused by jealousy only. I found bitter amusement in the quote "Online court records show the boyfriend has a lengthy criminal record." Maybe the author should take a look at BM's BF's criminal record and they can see what a "lengthy criminal record" really looks like - try one that goes back over twenty years. But, I just found out that BF's re-parole application was denied so he will not be around SS for at least another year, thank God.

I'm on the pick-up list for SS at his school. Under normal circumstances (doctor's appointment or such), I'm not allowed to pick him up unless DH sends a note with him. Even with the note, I am asked for ID, and they call DH on his phone to verify. I think this is great; the more safeguards in place the better. (DH has sole legal and BM has limited visitation so they don't check with her - in fact, according to the CO BM never has weekdays and thus is not even on the school pickup list.) There is also an "emergency pickup list", which we think is for major incidents like weather evacuations, terrorist attacks, etc. where it might be more important to get the child out of school quickly and removed to a safe place to meet with the parents later, I guess.

    Bookmark   July 9, 2011 at 11:51AM
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It's amazing how absolutely "real", how convincing, how genuine, liars, cheats, criminals, & con artists seem.

I'd guess that neither this mother nor this father knew the "boyfriend's" history.

You can get a criminal report through public records on the internet;
at around $30, it's a heck of a deal.

    Bookmark   July 9, 2011 at 3:13PM
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Although my Dh worked for the school district for 12 years before we met, I still checked him on the sex offender registry while we were dating and I did a background check on him before he met Dd. Granted we met at work and I know that in the position he is in to have access to confidential documents and to the main frame passwords of the entire corporation, he could not have so much as a traffic ticket warrant, I still did the checks... Why leave it up to someone else to protect my child?

Some people are so blinded by 'love' they refuse to accept that this person might not be a 'good' person.
I am so 'in love' with my daughter I couldn't let someone near her without being 100% certain that there were no past behaviors that could possibly be red flags for future trouble.

    Bookmark   July 9, 2011 at 8:27PM
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