cps, the skids, and crazy exbf

nikemamaJuly 1, 2009

Well, couple weeks ago we had our court date. Skids mom had been living with this man for the past 3 years stealing and pawning anything of value he could get his hands on for drugs. He has been in and out of jail/prison since the early 90's.

She took an EPO and didn't go to court to follow up on the case. So CPS called DH and asked if he wanted the kids. CPS was not going to allow BM to keep BF and the kids anymore. She has broke it off so many times it isn't even funny.

The kids didn't want to move to the country with us but stay in town with BM in the house they grew up in. 12G 13B. SS had lived with about 5 months but returned home last year.

DH wants the kids with us and there is no reason for them not to be except they want to stay with their mother. DH has for the time agreed that she can keep them so long as they have no contact text phone in person, sleeping in the next room with mom's BF until they are 18. They have been ordered to this by the court and also ordered to counceling. We have to go back to court in the middle of July. I am sure she hasn't started the counceling for them yet. We may still end up with the kids but for now she is getting one last chance.

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mom2emall

If CPS offered DH the kids and DH let them stay with BM won't that look bad on him??

If it were me and BM had a crazy bf like that I would gladly take the kids. Sure they may be upset for a bit, but thats much better than them being around a man like that. And if bm dropped the protective order I bet she will get back with that jerk and have the kids hide it for her....

    Bookmark   July 1, 2009 at 12:51PM
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lovehadley

I tend to agree with mom2emall.

I think that by DH letting the kids stay with BM, he is shooting himself in the foot, should anything else come up down the road. He is discrediting his concerns for his children, in the court's eyes, at least.

    Bookmark   July 1, 2009 at 12:55PM
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doodleboo

Yep. They will think he must not have too much concern if he allows the kids to stay with BM. That's one of the reasons J stopped letting the girls go anywhere with BM. If he did than the courts would think she must not be as bad as we say she is and if she really is as bad, then J is a negligent father who allowed them to be in an unsafe situation.

The courts will look at it like if he was really worried about his kids than their preferences would of taken a backseat to their safety. I can guarantee you on this.

    Bookmark   July 1, 2009 at 3:40PM
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sylviatexas1

You've gotten some good advice.

Please encourage, insist, or nag husband into showing some backbone & taking those kids home.

I'm holding all of you in my thoughts & in my heart & sending thoughts for an easy transition on the court date.

    Bookmark   July 2, 2009 at 10:37AM
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finedreams

I agree with everybody, it is not right of your DH to let kids stay there. it doesn't matter what kids want, kids often want to stay in abusive situation for multiple reasons, it doesn't mean we should let them.

    Bookmark   July 3, 2009 at 1:18PM
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fiveinall

i think if DH doesn't insist on the kids living with him right now (especially w cps's instructions) that DH runs the risk the next time something bad happens of those kids not being offered to him and being placed in foster care instead....cps has given dh the chance to have them, and if he doesn't follow through they may end up lost in the system with mom NOR dad being able to keep them.....that is what I would tell my dh to chew on if I were in your shoes..........

    Bookmark   July 4, 2009 at 1:55PM
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