SS16's Cocky Attitude.

lady_qJuly 5, 2011

So, we all know that teens can be a royal pain in the behind, and I've already raised my own son, so I know the score on how they can turn from sweet little cherubs to hormone overdosed brats in a matter of weeks. But I'm encountering something altogether different right now with SS16.

Some background first. I've raised SS fulltime for the last 9 years. His mother is a disney mom who shows up when it's convenient for her, spends a few days with him (just enough to lead him to believe that his wish is her command), then disappears until her schedule can fit him in again (usually 3-4 months later). So, for all intents and purposes I am his "Mom", and have been the largest female presence in his life since he was 5 (when his mother walked out).

So, over the last 9 years we've developed a strong mother/child bond and although I know I don't feel the same deep love for this child as I feel for my own, I do love him and have always treated him fairly and with the best of intentions. In fact, I've made some very positive changes in his life and helped him overcome some poor behaviors he'd developed in the first 7 years of his life.

So, to get to the point. SS is going to visit with BM during last week of July. So it is up to DH and I to make arrangements for SS to travel to her city (BM arranges his return travel). SS has a full-time job during the summer which makes it impossible for him to travel during the week. So, I booked his train ticket for Saturday morning. SS gives me attitude about that (via text) indicating that he wants to travel on Friday afternoon, instead of Saturday morning. I tell him he can't travel on Friday afternoon because he's working until 5:00 and he needs to come home, shower (he does labour work), change, get his things together, etc. He replies, "I don't care. I'll go to the train station from work. Change the tickets to Friday afternoon. NOW!" Whoa!! That got my undies in a knot, let me tell you!!! It was a good thing he wasn't within earshot or he would have gotten an earful! Anyway, I did confront him about it when he got home and he just brushed it off -- no big deal to him. So I let it go.

Then this morning, I get a text from him (he's at work...and really isn't supposed to be texting anyone!) saying that he doesn't like his job anymore and wants to quit. Today is only his second day! So I say "Quitting is not an option. You've made a commitment to your employer and you have to follow through with it." He replies "Sorry, I didn't know you were in charge of my life."

So, I sent the body of the texts from SS to DH and told him to deal with it. But, I also told DH that he and I need to sit down with SS and discuss his recent attitude toward me. We've always had a mutual respect for one another and this has kind of blind-sided me. We don't talk to each other like that and I'm pretty certain that SS would not speak to me in that manner if he were face-to-face with's only happened with texts.

I guess I'm wondering if any of you have dealt with this issue and how you handled it. Any constructive advice would really be appreciated. I intend to have a discussion with him when he comes home tonight and I want to have all my ducks in a row, so to speak.

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See my post just under your's....fairly similar situation, except my SS has taken it even further. I sure wish I had some answers, but in my case I think it comes down to he is going to be this person he is, which is a bad person, until life slaps him in the face and he grows up.

    Bookmark   July 5, 2011 at 1:13PM
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