Grandparents get to see son more than BF does
I know this is slightly off topic, but I figured the ladies on here have to deal with issues like this and seem to offer pretty solid advice.
Background - I have two girls, ages 12 and 5, BF has one son, age 8 that he is the NCP of.
I came on here looking for advice since my BF and I are considering moving in together.
Things have been going well. We are definitely getting on the same page as far as parenting goes. The plan is to move in together this fall and the way things are going I am very optimistic about it.
This Saturday is my 12 year old's birthday party. It is not BF's weekend to get his son normally, however, he made arrangements to get him for the party. I was like cool. Then last night BF calls me very upset.
Some background on BF. He and BM were never married. They broke up right after their son was born and BM moved about an hour away. BF gets his son every Wednesday and every other weekend.
BM has allowed her mother and step father to basically raise the son.
BF has a good relationship with BM's parents, so it hasn't been that much of an issue, except for the fact that BM will let the grandparents see the son before she will let BF see the son. Since the grandparents have basically raised the son, son has a natural attachment to his grandparents. BF is jealous of this. He knows it's the BM fault, but he still can't help the way he feels.
Anyway, BF had plans to get his son for this weekend. Last night BF calls his son to talk to him. Son says oh yeah, dad, can I go with grandma and grandpop to the movies Saturday for their anniversary?
BF gets upset because his son knows he already made plans to get him this weekend.
Grandma gets on the phone and says well, he can do both, he can go to the movies with us and go to the birthday party with you.
BF doesn't want to hear it. He basically is mad that son would prefer to go with his grandparents instead of him. He's mad because BM would rather drop son off at the grandparents instead of him.
He wants to get custody of his son, but BM does not want to because that would mean losing child support. BM will not let him get extra time with his son, for fear child support will be reduced.
BF is extremely frustrated and discouraged by this because he is always having to compete with the grandparents for time with his own son and it does not look like things will ever change. He feels that since his son prefers to spend time with the grandparents that he is going to give up trying to get extra time with him.
I'm not looking necessarily looking for legal advice, it just hurts me to see him hurt like this. I have to practically force my ex to see his kids, and here is this guy begging to see his own son. How do you help someone cope with something like this?