Going to scream
"No phone, no go."
BM's off her rocker again. (Perhaps I should scratch the *again.*)
We're leaving on vaca in less than two weeks. During OUR time with SS nonetheless.
But BM is wigging out and told DH if he does not allow SS to have the cell phone she bought, he's not going.
DH said "Fine, he can bring the cell phone on vacation with us."
Nope. She said DH has to agree to let him have it at our house all the time or SS's not going on the trip. She said he will not be at her house when DH arrives to pick him up.
DH has done a very good job---with several conversations with her over the past week----at remaining calm. He told BM we ARE leaving on vacation on these dates, he will be picking SS up per the custody arrangement at 9 AM, and he expects SS to be there and ready.
BM said he will not--she claims she already talked to her lawyer and he (she?) said that even if DH called the police, they wouldn't do anything. Because it's a summer custody schedule and there is no way to prove whose WEEK it is. (In the schedule, it's simply written that BM has SS on Mon/Tues, DH has him Wed/Thurs and weekends alternate.
Summer is week by week. So I am afriad the cops would throw their hands up and say we don't know whose week it is.
I'm SO MAD!!! I don't GET her!
DH has remained calm and not gotten down in the gutter with her. He said this is our family vacation that's been planned for months, she has known the dates for months, he has the email to prove as much, and he really hopes she will allow SS to go. THat she is only hurting SS by behaving this way. But that we ARE leaving with or without him because DH is not going to allow BM to ruin our plans. And that BM will have to explain to SS why he can't go on the trip.
I'm so upset! Poor SS! I feel so terrible for him, he is caught in the middle because of BM and I don't think he knows WHAT to think. Last night, he got on the phone with DH and said, "Please let me have my cell phone at your house so I can go on the trip, dad. Mom said I can't go if you don't let me have the phone she bought for me."
This woman sickens me---putting her son in the midle like that! Making DH into the "bad guy." Undermining DH as a parent and making our family vacation about a cell phone. As if her calls to SS aren't intrusive enough! She talks to him on the home line at LEAST twice a day EVERY DAY. Often three times! AUUUGHHHHH. I don't GET IT. It's NOT as if she's being denied contact or something. A cell phone for SS should be a JOINT parenting decision and for BM, it's just one more way for her to intrude on DH's/our family's time with SS.
She thinks SS should have this cell phone that he carries with him at all times because she said she is "tired of not being able to contact HER SON whenever she chooses."
Part of me thinks DH should just say FINE and let him have the cell...and the second we get home from vacation, it's out the window. But I HATE to give her power/control like that and make her think that threats and borderline blackmail work.
What do you think would happen if DH did show up to get SS with the police? I don't know what they would/wouldn't do.
I think a lot of it stems from deep jealousy/insecurity on her part. She has blown a gasket every time we've planned a vacation, but she always lets SS go. I HATE to even say "lets" because DH is an equal parent with 50-50 custody! It should NOT be a matter of BM "letting" him go.
Oh and to make it worse----DH is supposed to have SS for the 4th of July this year, but BM begged and pleaded to have him b/c her family is having a 60th bday party for her dad. And DH said FINE. He was willing--and did!---give up his 4th with SS so SS could celebrate his grandpa's birthday.
And now she's going to be like this. The b*tchy part of me thinks DH should go get SS right now----per the schedule, he SHOULD have gotten SS at 5 pm yesterday to start the holiday weekend. But I know SS is excited to celebrate his gpa's birthday, so DH isn't going to do that.
Because HE is the BIGGER person. ALWAYS.