Possibly not the Father and Child Support payments???
Right so mother of partners child has now said she may or may not back date 6 years of child maintenance (totalling about 9000). None of this money will go to her or the child it goes straight to the CSA, but she had a falling out with my partner and is being spiteful and trying to ruin our lives any way she can. Even if she does not decide to back date the money, my boyfriend is still going to start paying maintenance to her now. Now I think all parents should pay their way for their children, however, he has said that he is not 100% sure that the child is his. There have been various other possibilities over the years, some of which have been DNA tested and some of which haven't.
He had a blood test when the transplant was due to see if he was a match, which he was, and he is now using this as difinitive proof that the child is his. I've tried explaining to him that millions of people have the same blood type and that is not proof of paternity. He has previously put off having a DNA test because he said is almost completely sure that the child is his, and also he has bonded with his 'son' so is too scared of what the answer would be now.
We are scheduled to move out next year, but if he ends up paying her such a huge sum of money, our lives will have to go on hold for years.
I think that if there is any doubt at all that the child is not his he should get a DNA test before he has to pay out a small fortune. The reason he stopped paying maintenance in the first place is because the paternity was unknown. I just don't want our lives to grind to a halt because he has to pay Â£1000's for a child that is not his.
I am also fairly certain he is the father, but I think we should be completely sure before this happens, and he has every right to ask for a DNA test knowing that she was sleeping with a number of other people at the time of conception - not all of whom have been tested, and some we may not even know about.
I do know that the other men who did take the tests did so off their own backs. One of these men she even said was the father until he got tested and proved he wasn't.
I would not put it past this woman to be using my partner as a scapegoat because he didn't ask for the test and gave in to all her demands since day one.
So what do I do? As I said, I am quite sure the child is his, but knowing what this woman is capable of and what is at stake I feel we should know for sure. I know he doesn't want to get the test but I feel it is more because he doesn't want to rustle any feathers than because he really doesn't want to do it. How can I help him see that it is a sensible thing to do and he is well within his rights to do so when he doesn't like to talk about the subject at all?
I don't want to argue with him or force him into anything but I strongly feel it is in everyones best interests before we get any further in than we already are.