This is so difficult...,and frustrating.
Well it's almost my BF and my 10 months anniversary, things are getting pretty serious. I love him so much, he is respectful of me, he supports me in anything and everything that I do and we are just in a generally happy relationship. But his BM is a nightmare and it is driving me insane! They were broken up when they discovered that she was pregnant, he decided that their relationship was too far gone to make things work but he vowed to be there for her and their baby every step of the day. She refuses to work because as she puts it "she didn't ask to fall pregnant", she studies through correspondence which means that she doesn't go to class like at a normal university.
We study through the same university, yet I work a full time job and study. My BF pays for her place and basically everything else. A few weeks ago my BF and I went on a weekend away and she called when we just left, their daughter had run out of wet wipes. She totally flipped out when he told her that he couldn't go buy the wet wipes as he was already outside of town. Come on, surely she could have gotten the wet wipes herself!! BM is also still bitter about the break up, and I don't blame her, it sucks to break up with someone and then find out you're pregnant...it sucks even worse when that person has moved on with their lives. She texts him repeatedly sometimes, how he hurt her, how she hates him and when he ignores she sends more texts asking him why he is ignoring her. I understand that they have a child together and I understand that they have to be in contact and if every single text she sent him was about their daughter I would be fine, it isn't though and that's whats driving me mad. BF then gets upset with her and it affects the time that we spend together!!
BM also told BF that we should just get married and have our own kids and leave hers alone. I can only imagine what she must feel, she has had a raw deal but I didn't cause the break up, I started dating him much later and his involvement with me never comes in the way of the time that he spends with his daughter.
If she was a bit more independant I would feel a bit better about the situation but she is dependant on him for everything and like I said just refuses to do anything. BF and I argue sometimes because he wants to keep everyone happy but that's just not going to happen! When we first started dating he said that we should give her time to get used to the idea that he has a girlfriend, nearly 10 months later and still nothing, now he says that she'll get used to us once were engaged, when were engaged he'll probably say things will get better once were married!! BM obviously resents the fact that he has moved on and I hate to be a pessimist but I don't see this situation getting any better. BF is great about calming my fears but often he doesn't want to rock the boat with BM that he basically plays to her tune. He told me last night that I need to help him draw the line with her, but what can I possibly do????
My sister told me to think about things carefully before we get engaged (we have been talking about it), she says that I have no kids and that I should think about whether I or not I am willing to deal with this for the rest of my life. I love my boyfriend with all my heart but sometimes I just don't know if I want to deal with BM and her crap for the rest of my life...