where should SD be?
DH has been offered a new position with many benefits, great pay . . . and travel three night a week, three weeks out of the month. Though it would be difficult in many ways taking it has many positives. The only worry is SD.
It wasn't until SD said "wow, I won't get to see Daddy much on the weeks I have weekends I visit my mom" that it hit me - her mom could make an issue of the fact I'm in charge of her the days her dad would be gone. I don't know that she would as she seems to recognize me as SD's parent (she's even referres to DH and I as SD's parents) but who's to say?
This is SD's 'home base' - her friends, school and activities are all here. Mom lives about 20+ minutes away and has a schedule that changes daily, so as I've talked about before getting SD here for school/activities presents a problem. Additionally, SD's starts high school in a month and has to be there at 7:30. That would make her morning all the earlier coming from moms.
All this said, there is that small part of me that wonders if it's 'right' for SD to be here and not with her mom when her dad is away? Should we address it with her, assuming DH takes the job, or should we just go on about the status quo and wait for BM to possibly bring it up? I really don't want to change anything and hadn't thought twice of being here with the three kids until SD made that comment.
As a side note - BM is separated from new DH of two years - she and SD's 2 year old sister have moved in to an apartment. Things have been a little hairy with the whole situation and I have to admit the thought of SD spending more time there as she's starting high school with all it's potential for bad situations brings makes me nervous.
This could be a make it or break it on taking the position, so I'm curious what you think.