something new and encouraging

mom_of_4July 10, 2010

So, this past weekend was sd b-day. As usual I planned the entire thing and made sure that all those that needed to be invited was invited and etc etc...

I ended up feeling slightly overwhelmed (what with going to school full time homeschooling oldest ss ... dealing with four kids... ya know the routine...) So, I called bm and asked for her help. I gave her specific things to bring and asked her to come early to help decorate and what not... she agreed and the entire time asked is this how you want this done... where do you want to hang that.(all around nice and helpful)

It was all very pleasant and cooperative. BM ended up leaving early and her friend she invited stayed. Later in the day her friend sat down and approached me (somewhat wary) She said that she is having problems with her disabled son and dealing with his IEP. BM apparently told her that I was way better then her at dealing with things like this and that I knew how to make the system work and she sould talk to me. BM apparently told her I was the expert and she would benefit from talking to me.

Now this is a friend that BM has talked "smack" to in the past... and I am sure told her incredibly bad things at points when things were terrible bw her and DH. It was amazing to hear that BM recommended to a friend of hers that she talk to me about something... heck it was incredible to think that BM was saying anything positive about me.

I feel so relieved and happy... maybe we really are on the positive street we have seem to be on...

I kept thinking that her "all of a sudden I am there for my kids and cooperative and well ... nice" was just an act and was waiting for the other shoe to drop.

but now I feel like maybe... just maybe we have finally crossed the thresh hold and all just might be well.

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Great news! It could be a good turning point.

I can so relate to this:

"It was amazing to hear that BM recommended to a friend of hers that she talk to me about something... heck it was incredible to think that BM was saying anything positive about me."

After all the awfulness that went on with BM---the drinking, the assault, her false report of child abuse (ughhhh,) etc---I just couldn't see things ever being calm again.

But once she quit drinking, although she still gets irritable at times, she just isn't wacky/aggressive/picking fights the way she used to.

AND the best part was at spring break when she agreed to let ME take SS OUT OF THE COUNTRY to the Carribbean without DH! And she actually said "I know he is in good hands."

WOW. It felt good for her to concede that I am good to SS and that she trusts me with him that much. (Not that I should really care about her opinion but...)

I'm happy for you mom2emall! That is really good, hopeful news and you should be very proud. You are clearly a good SM/mom and BM recognizes that!

    Bookmark   July 10, 2010 at 11:08AM
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Mom of 4 that is great news!! I am so happy to hear that, I just hope that it does last.

    Bookmark   July 12, 2010 at 9:06AM
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I think that IS a turning point. For BM to recognize and acknowledge your expertise in this area is really a very big thing. (And bless you for acquiring that expertise! I know it isn't fun.)

    Bookmark   July 12, 2010 at 1:38PM
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