my step son hates me
I have a 9 year old SS. I have been with his dad since July of '08. His mom left him with a neighbor a week before his 4th birthday to go on a drug binge and didn't come back. I am the first woman in his life since and he is disrespectful, rude and down right mean sometimes. Only when I try to discipline him or he doesn't get his way. Otherwise, he is a loving child. He told me today and has told me on several other occasions he doesn't want me to be his mom, never has, he hates me and doesn't want me here. This is the 3rd time he has said this to me this week. Each time was due to not getting his way. His dad is out of town, but even when he is here and I tell him he needs to teach him not to disrespect me he tells me I need to be the one to teach him not to disrespect me. When I try it drives a wedge between me and my SS. I am to the point of shutting down completely, feeling like I can't reach this child and even told him today if he felt that way then he should stop calling me mom. Probably, not the right response but I am at a loss on what to do. Driven to tears, please help.