Need court/parenting plan expertise

lovehadleyJune 14, 2009

DH has decided he is not comfortable doing drop-offs or pick-ups at BM's house anymore. Quite frankly, she is alone there and DH feels super uncomfortable putting himself in a vulnerable positon being a guy at her house. She could (and probably would) make a false rape or abuse allegation against him. Seriously--this woman is so deranged, I can see herself punching herself or slamming her head against a wall to create a bruise, and then saying DH shoved her or something.

DH told her tonight he wants to stick to the parenting plan 100% from now on. That means SHE does the pick-ups when it's her custodial time and HE does the pick ups for his time.

He wants to do them in the police department parking lot of our community when BM does the pick-ups.

BM says NO WAY is she meeting him at a police station. She is insisting she will do the curbside pickup at our home as per the court orders. DH and I are *okay* with that, but DH does not even want to do curbside pickup at HER HOUSE.

BM claims he cannot force her to meet at a police station if it's not in the parenting plan.

Is this right?

How can DH protect himself here?

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If you can not ask your lawyer I would call the social worker that spoke to you about the allegations. Tell her that after her false allegations dh is afraid to be alone with her and wants to do public pick-ups and drop-offs. See what the social worker says.

    Bookmark   June 14, 2009 at 10:55PM
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If she won't agree to come to the police station, he can ask for a civil standby at her house. Normally, I would say it's a waste of the police department's time but in a situation where there are allegations (false allegations of abuse), it would be the next best thing to meeting at the police station.

His request to meet her at the police station should be in writing and he needs to ask for her response to be in writing... that way it may be used to document that he is trying everything possible to prevent conflict and her refusal to cooperate is also in writing. But if it's not in the agreement, there isn't much he can do... he can however take SS to the police station when it's time for BM to get him and then let her know that is where he will be if she wants to get him.

If he can, he should take a friend or relative and maybe even carry a tape recorder or video camera to document the exchanges. (or have a friend park up the street and record it from there so your SS isn't aware he is being recorded.)

    Bookmark   June 15, 2009 at 1:23AM
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Where I live the local YWCA is available for pickups etc. they also have a supervised parenting visitation program, with sliding scale for payment.

    Bookmark   June 15, 2009 at 8:38AM
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I think your lawyer can ask the judge for a modification to the parent plan to ask for police stations drop offs, under the circumstances, Hadley.. I think that would be a great idea...

    Bookmark   June 15, 2009 at 10:13AM
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I would ask for modification. under the circumstances it is a great idea to not be with her alone. ask the judge to modify parenting plan.

    Bookmark   June 16, 2009 at 8:37AM
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