'The Gift of Fear'

sylviatexas1June 27, 2012

Another thread reminded me of this excellent, scary book.

It's by Gavin DeBecker, a security consultant to celebrities, heads of state, & other high-profile people who may become targets of kidnappers, stalkers, etc.

The book is geared to women;

it's about how to stay safe, how to recognize danger, etc.

I haven't read the entire book, it's just too intense, but I've read a number of chapters, & it's impressive.

If you get a chance, read it.

If you can't find it to buy, check it out at the library.

I think it's like driver's education;

it can't hurt, it's good practice, it's always better to know than to not know, & it might save you a great deal of heartache & maybe physical injury or death.

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weed30

I've read the whole thing, and it is an excellent book. It really teaches you to pay attention to your innate "something's not right here" feelings. If you step back and think about it, it applies to non-threatening situations too, like why you don't want to get too close to a new female friend, or why you have a nagging feeling about a job offer. Highly recommended.

    Bookmark   June 27, 2012 at 8:41PM
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mkroopy

Oh brother.....here we go again....the horse is dead please stop beating it.

    Bookmark   June 28, 2012 at 9:14AM
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sylviatexas1

The idea is that our right or perceptive brain is far more ancient than our left or logical brain, *& it knows what it's doing*.

The perceptive brain is the part we share with other animals;
it warns us, & other animals, of danger.
You know that prickly feeling at the back of your neck when you can "feel" someone watching you?
That's your perceptive brain, alerting you to what your analytical brain hasn't noticed yet.

The book helps us learn to heed our perceptive brains, & it helps us "unlearn" some of the habits that work against our safety..

Unlearn the tendency to talk yourself out of getting out of an elevator when you're alone & someone else gets in.

Unlearn the tendency to not protect yourself because you don't want another person to think that you think that he's a danger because then he won't like you or he'll think you don't like him.

Unlearn the fear of making a fool of yourself by yelling for help when you feel threatened.

excellent book

    Bookmark   June 28, 2012 at 12:42PM
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sylviatexas1

just found this on another site;
people (women) often are confused by the line between being nice/polite & being aware that they/we are in danger.

Here is a link that might be useful: you don't have to be polite to a creepy stranger

    Bookmark   June 28, 2012 at 2:18PM
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silversword

That article was interesting Sylvia. I am working on a problem that I have which is similar. I too have engaged in conversation, not because I wanted to but because I had no idea how NOT to. And that would lead to compromising situations that I did not intend on but somehow gave signals that I was more interested than I was (because creepers will take any return energy as a go-ahead).

"I'm just being friendly" would be my response when people asked why I would engage. I have only just now in my 30's realized that I need to set boundaries and that it's OK for me to do so.

    Bookmark   June 30, 2012 at 11:54PM
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