BM wants to change visitation schedule...

pseudo_momJune 9, 2010

So after 2 years of every weekend... she wants to switch to every other weekend ... why because her children treat her like dirt "she has had it with her f'ing kids, she can't stand how they f'ing treat her, she buys them everything and they don't do anything around the house they don't clean up after themselves they are f'ing slobs, they don't even clean up after the dog etc... etc...)

She went out the other night left them with money for food .... and they invited 3 friends to sleep over when she got home at 2 am ... they were all up fighting in the living room and SS12 had been beat up by the neighbor kid.

She can't believe her f'ing kids would do that to her and what little brats they are

You get the idea of that conversation.... everyone I repeated it to said she created the problem by letting them get away with everything unless it effected her directly .... play video games non-stop all weekend but fight about them and interrupt her and all he!! breaks loose.

Secretly I am excited to have the boys on weekends will get to do stuff with them ... flipside... Worried how SD is going to react to being here all weekend ... if she will even come on weekends lots of questions but no answers not allowed to ask or care.

So here is my issue:

It took 2 years for her to take them on a weekend ... she saw them sunday and thurs nights ... drop off at school at 8 am or at home at 8am .... everytime hubby asked for a weekend night he was told take me to court so he did and the judge gave her every weekend.

So now he just accepted it no questions asked ... i said it is going to be permanent??? so we can plan accordingly or is she going to change her mind on a weekly basis and have us by the strings again..... I would like you to go make it official this way there is something in writing because right now she is getting food stamps and cash assistants based on the number of hours she has them .... because we have them during the week and she has them weekends she qualifies for assistance (I know screwed up right but whatever)....

I have detached myself from any caregiving role with the children ... they have two parents ...

Three months ago I took a part-time job working the nights SD is here .... and hired a maid :) So now the only things I do for them specifically is cook dinnerand pay the maid to clean up after them .... Its been so nice to walk by their rooms and on friday afternoons and not see a complete disaster... and I know it will stay that way for atleast 2 days :) ...

So at this point ... if they are here on Saturday mornings I get to do stuff with them ... if not i get to do stuff for me same as usual ... either way going with the flow .... just lots of questions and no one to ask.

But still "secretly" excited to have the boys on weekends!!!

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finedreams

what do kids want? stay at home or go to moms?

she gets food stamps for having kids on the weekend? huh? nice.

so what about SD? where is she on the weekends? would it effect her?

    Bookmark   June 9, 2010 at 7:34PM
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mom2emall

Its funny that bm got "stuck" with every weekend after refusing to take them one night on a weekend. And I think it is even better that the monsters she created are bothering her! Talk about what goes around comes around!

I do think it will be nice to see them on weekends. But DH needs to tell her that you will plan to have them EOW and the first time she does a last minute change he will stop taking them on weekends and she can take him to court to change it.

    Bookmark   June 9, 2010 at 8:49PM
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finedreams

I think the problem is that they actually live with dad, it is not like he can prevent them from coming/staying home.

    Bookmark   June 9, 2010 at 9:17PM
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pseudo_mom

They can stay or go it doesn't matter to us .... we don't have xbox (hahaha) so they don't like weekends here ... xbox is not allowed here all they do is fight over it and since we didn't pay for i am not going to replace what they break... but anyway.

Yes FD she lies to get what she wants ... stamps and cash etc. she will eventually get caught.

The kids do not have a choice ... she "makes" them go takes them on a guilt I am your mother I have a right to see you ... "here's a 20 I am going out" " you don't love me is that why you don't want to come over"

what I hope doesn't happen is they start enjoying their weekends here and she takes them back.

No clue what will go on with SD ... will I pick up weekend shifts too lol who knows I know that sounds harsh but its self preservation mode ... it works for me ... i dont get wrapped up in the drama that is SD.

As it is she comes here on Mon and thurs.... rules the house listens to no one .... and spends most of her time on the phone with her mother .. either texting or calling taking pictures to send to mom etc.

when i get home at 11/12... she is still up watching tv i shut if off and go to bed.... she knows at this point don't turn it back and time for bed with out me saying a word but she has to make one more call to mom to say goodnight. ... not my phone ringing at midnight.

Whats strange is the boys don't act like that here they have their chores .... they sit with us and watch tv we eat at the table there are no fights arguements beatings exception to normal is when SD its a very tense household waiting for her to pitch a fit about something .... last time was because we made smores in the backyard and she wasn't here.

Going to enjoy the boys while they can be here on weekends .... like I said she will probably change her mind in a week .... (hubby said she must have somewhere to go this weekend and can't get a babysitterfor all 3)...

    Bookmark   June 10, 2010 at 12:02AM
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