Is my DH an insensitive @$$? Or am I?
Ok, so I have a full, year-long order of protection against BM. She cannot call me, cannot email me, cannot come inside our home--heck, she cannot even come onto the driveway. IF she ever (and she never does) picks SS up at our home, she has to park at the curb and wait IN HER CAR for him to come out.
so we are re-doing SS's bedroom with a bunkbed, new dresser, etc. He is pretty excited about it, and mentioned to DH that he wants his mom to see it.
Keep in mind, he just moved to a new house w/his mom and SF recently, and DH went inside to see his new room. But DH ALWAYS goes in their house. When he picks SS up, BM always "invites" him in b/c SS is never ready to go. So this is nothing out of the ordinary.
BM has probably been in OUR home 2-3 times in the last 5 years.
Well, DH tells me that if SS keeps pushing the issue, that he will probably just let her come in and see the bedroom sometime when I am not home.
I FLIPPED OUT.
Seriously--WHAT is wrong with my DH? His insenstivity (in my eyes) honestly makes me nauseated at times, and I wonder what the h*ll I was thinking marrying him. I feel so hurt and betrayed.
I told him that I would be livid if he did that behind my back. I told him that I am his WIFE and that he needs to stand beside ME and this order of protection. Legally, BM is NOT allowed in our home, regardless of whether or not I am home. I pointed this out to DH and he said it doesn't matter, that he will do what is best for SS and if SS that badly wants his mom to see his bedroom, then that is what he will do.
This argument was so bad that I wound up leaving the house for a few hours. I was so hurt and upset, and ANGRY. To me--it is a RESPECT issue. I do NOT want this woman in OUR FAMILY HOME. I don't want her being able to see our family pictures, or the calendar on the wall, or anything, really! I have drawn a clear boundary with BM. She assaulted me when she was intoxicated and I did everything I could to send her the message that I will not tolerate that. But what kind of message does it send if DH allows her into our home? To me, it sends the message that he does NOT stand behind our marriage at all. And that makes me sad. :(
DH said I am a "typical woman holding a grudge' and actually THAT was the point I stormed out of the house. I seriously just wanted to smack him.
I think he has a sick, twisted, disgusting relationship with BM, I think he puts his relationship with her above our marriage and our family and I don't know what to do.
Am I overreacting?