Stepmother Issues. Need Help Please!
Thank you for taking the time to read my story and comment. I must give you the complete sory as short as I can. So please bare with me.
I was a single father raising my child from when he was 2 years old till about 6 years old when I met my current wife. It was very hard for him to adjust which was understandable considering our circumstances. Over time things did get better and we were living a pretty decent blended family life.
As my son was getting older my wife would make it very clear to him that she did not want any contact to his mother or any relatives while he was in our home. Of course we fought about it because I felt it did not affect our everyday lives and his mother was barely in his life while growing up so I figured what would be the harm.
Over time my son built a huge resentment towards my wife and has began to ignore her completely. My wife would constantly look at billing statements to see what numbers he has been texting and commenting for him to stop. I was unaware the whole time until recently when my child told me.
He has turned 16 now and is preparing for drivers ed any all my wife is worried about is my son driving the vehicle to visit his mom. She has commented to my son that he better not take the truck over there or have any of his other family members in it.
I hope I have painted a pretty good picture of how my wife thinks things should be. The problem is my son is making it obvious that he does not care to be around or speak to her. I am noticing that he is wanting to spend more and more time at his mothers and I am stuck in the middle.
I love my wife and my child and their happiness is very important to me but not at the expense of my childs feeling or emotions. My wife makes me feel extremely guilty when my child is around or in the same room. She thinks we are being secretive. Everytime I am just hanging out with him she gives me a hard time about it. I feel like she has been abusing my child verbally for years.
I have attempted to make it clear to her that what she is doing or asking of him is wrong. He has never disrespected her, usually follows the rules, passing grades, etc. The usual average good kid. Plays sports.
What makes me feel resentment towards my wife is that her daughter does not get the same treatment. She is allowed to do everything my son cannot do. I am a pretty easy going person. I understand when my stepdaughter wants to text or speak to her father. I do not care if her father wants to be at a function. This story is probably a little more complicated because there are a lot more things that my wife does not allow. I know my wife does not like my child and she makes it pretty obvious but she does not like him through jealousy.
We also have a child together and I do not treat any of them different. Sometimes I like to have father and son time alone and she thinks it is favortism. I just do not know what to do.
My son made the comment the other night that he feels like a prisoner in our own home. It really is hurtful that my wife can be so cold and mean knowing he is my only son who is growing up and will soon be on his own. My son has cried recently because he said I make him feel like I do not want him around and that is due to my wife making me feel guilty when he is around. I tend to cut things short with him so my wife will not get upset.
That was a big mistake on my part. I just need help. I am a firm believer of the vows "until death do us part" and I am very committed to being on the right track.
I just want my child to feel comfortable and my wife to understand that my son is going to have a relationship with his bilogical mother. Any suggestions would help. Again thank you for reading my story.