It's Never going to get better is it??
I got another attacking email today. Bd hasn't even seen dd in a week and he apparently has more complaints and demands along with exclamation points and even more demands. It's like BD (or maybe SM) has nothing better to do but stay up late on Thursday nights and write me attacking emails, not even really worth writing. The stuff is so petty it's ridiculous. So much energy and anger goes in to these emails and ya... I usually get a little teary eyed because I'm just so tired. I'm tired of checking my email and having an email from 'BD@company.com' and the first sentence is never hello, good morning or F off. Its always just right into the subject of their 'concern' and what it is that I am doing wrong.
Well now apparently dd is complaining to them about my DH. I'm not arguing that she might complain about us to them but they act Like it was yesterday when I know good and well that they haven't talked to her in over a week. I think what bothers me so much about their allegations is that I'm afraid they may 'encourage' dd to say things that are not true about my husband and land us in trouble for something that isn't going on. This entire time that we have been fighting not once has my husband been involved. He has met them both just once and it was during a failed attempt at family counseling. BD even complimented DH by saying he hears nothing but good things about my Dh and thanke him for taking care of dd but also was sure to insert 'you can't replace me' which we aren't trying to do. Dd doesn't call Dh dad like she is forced to call SM mom. We are clear that he is not her dad. We don't tell people she is an he doesn't overstep his boundaries as her stepfather. I do not know why their words are so hurtful to me. Why it upsets me so much. They have found the core to my insecurity and they dance on it even though I haven't responded to their attempts to break my email 'silence' to them. It's like they just get worse and worse. It's true if you respond you lose if you don't respond you still lose because it doesn't stop.
I have decided to delete my email account and start over. They will not have email access to me any longer. They are already blocked at work so now I just need to block their access to my personal account which means to delete and recreate. I am ok with that because I don't have many contacts and it will be easy to just notify everyone of my new account. I won't have these attacking emails to use in court next time we go back but I have decided that what is important is to have my peace and sanity over having ammunition on them in court. Since I can't keep my emotions from getting out of wack, I have to just stop their nasty venom from being able to reach me.
And then I also decided .... This is never going to get better.