Do I really need a maid of honor?
I just told my friends about my engagement about two weeks ago, and asked three of my friends to be bridesmaids, and one of my friends to be a maid of honor. At first she said she would be because she's my friend, but she's not supporting the idea of me marrying my fiancee because he's hurt me bad in the past. We have gotten through those issues and were apart for a year and a half (had been together for a year and a half prior) and are working towards a future together. Anyway, saturday she said she'd come visit me (from out of town) and have brunch and she wanted to tell me how she felt, face to face, about me marrying my fiancee. She didn't come, said she forgot and I should have called and reminded her. Anyway, we spoke on the phone for a little while, and she asked when the wedding was. I told her it's in four months because I want a spring wedding. She insists that we are rushing things, and she doesn't feel it in HER heart, and cannot do "it" which I assume means participate in the wedding. She said she'd attend but she couldn't do it (be a maid of honor). I don't know what to do now. First off I feel weird asking a bridesmaid to be a maid of honor because they're going to know they weren't my first choice. Secondly, I do not have many options because 1 bridesmaid is all the way across the country, another is in her last yr of school in a PhD program and I know she won't have time, and the other already said she didn't have money to be a maid of honor... throw parties and what not. I already know about her financial woes, and greatly appreciate her just being a bridesmaid. As far as throwing a bridal shower and a bachelorette party, I have friends who are not bridesmaids that have agreed to do it because it's fun for them. Nevertheless, I don't even care if I get all of those things. My fiancee and I are planning the wedding, as far as place, caterer, time, date, etc.... He's upset about me not having a maid of honor, but do I really need one???
Also, this situation w/ my friend not being a maid of honor... is this going to end up ruining our friendship. That would be unfortunate. We've been friends since freshman yr of college.