Setting limits on gifts for adult step-children
My 29 year old step daughter got married nearly two months ago. My husband and I paid her medical insurance every month ($500) until she married and became eligible for her new husband's insurance on June 1.
Last week, she phoned my husband and told him that she was going to drop medical insurance because she didn't want to pay her own premiums. My DH fussed about it, but to his credit, he did not offer to continue to pay for her insurance.
Also, we typically write each step-child and their significant other a check for $350 each for Christmas--- ($700 per couple) but this year, DH and I have agreed to $75 per person, including the DH's new grandchild born in April, that we have only seen briefly twice. I actually thought that was too much, but it was a compromise decision. We still pay for my 32 year old step son's life insurance, but little by little we are disengaging. I don't ever expect to see or speak to any of these steps ever again. DH talks to them by phone once a week, and I am blissfully uninvolved. I usually phone or text them when my husband has health issues, for instance When I kept them informed during a major surgery last fall, but I will no longer be doing that.
My DH set out some dress shirts for SS to pick up at our home, but I sent my son to deliver them when SS is not an home. There was no reason for SS to stop by our home, when our son could drop them off.
I definitely do not miss the emotional roller coaster. Any communication with the steps is handled by my husband, which is his responsibility.