OT- its been eating me alive for a few months now....

organic_mariaJune 23, 2009

This happened a few months ago...3 or so months ago. My Dh's friend brought her friend over with her daughter (5 years old). This friend of hers is going through a recent divorce...not divorced yet but separated...really fresh as in 1 week at that point...

Anyway, they thought it would be a great idea to have her meet my son...well...the girl was veyr quiet...but not shy...just irrally quiet. and i picked up on it immediately! Got vibes...i dont like this 5 year old at all. Something is wrong with her.

Well the night progressed and i noticed odd behaviours. She would make sure to see where we would be and then would stow away and then i would hear my son say 'oooowww'...and then the cat ran past and hissed at one point. My cat never hisses...NEVER!!! my son has dragged this cat by the tail all across the dining room area into the kitchen and he never swiped my son. He's a good cat....and no we scolded our son big time for doing it but he was only 1 1/2 when he did it and didn't know any better....so...

to continue..i noticed she would do this peek in the room to see we were busy and then go off to her mischievous plans. SOOO i decided i will catch her...so i would give her 4-5 seconds after she peeked and would quickly go see what she was doing...

1. Caught her carrying the cat into the back room and then she slammed him into the ground and proceeded to press him hard down with her weight ( she's not small at all...size of a big 8 year old..heck sh'e heavier than my 11 year old ss!!!) i stood behind her until she noticed, said nothing but gave her the dirt look and gestured....with 2 fingers, got my eye on you now.

2. She peeked again and went into my bedroom where my son was, heard him cry , she ran to the living room, i inspected my son;'s back..(he's 3 1/2) he was RAKED down his back wiht something...has scars down his back with dotted lines all the way down the spine!!! till this day!!!)

3. Then she peeked again and the third time i finally caughter her red handed!!! She forcefully put my son on the couch and was about to ly on him when i came from behind and yelled' HEY, YOU DO NOT DO THAT TO A BABY!!! NEVER, touch anyone like that ever again!!!! my son does not like being touched like that and i do not do that, back off!'

Well her mother finally comes to speak with her , little BRAT is talking with her mom very quietly and gving me dirty looks and her mom is completely taken aback and i tell its best i think we call the night finished and i honestly think for your daughters sake that she be looked at because she has bullying tendancy and odd behaviors.

Needless to say, i had to get this off my chest, it bothereed me so much i could rip that girl. I dont care if she was 5...she has mental issues and her mom, only wants to party from waht i hear now...wont adress the issue...i feel sorry for the girl but at the same time sooooooooo angry. She exhibits psychotic behaviour. In fact i found out last week that her husband had no signs of divorce ,,just got up and left and demanded the divorce and keeps daughter visitation very infrequent.....i wonder if he saw something and ran???

My Dh's and i had a party for fathers' day and his friend wanted to invite a friend. I immediately said if its that woman with that kid.. I WILL NOT ALLOW IT. I've never in my life felt so vehemently against someone in my entire life.

Told my sd about it last week and she just freaked. Showed her the scars on her little brothers back...her mouth was just left open.

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What a disturbing story Maria...
For a child that young to have behaviors that malicious --

I have a hard time believing she was simply born evil (though I imagine that sometimes happens), so most likely, her behavior stems from things that have happened to her in her own past -- which is just so terribly sad.

So the mother is a friend of a friend of your husband's?
I certainly wouldn't let her near my own kids or pets again, but I wonder if there's some way you could get help for that poor child?

    Bookmark   June 23, 2009 at 4:33PM
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she sounds like she is abused at home, mentally or sexually and physically or all of it. i don't know what to do about it, but sounds like behavior of abused child.

    Bookmark   June 23, 2009 at 5:25PM
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Yes that sounds very much like the child is/has been abused herself. Would it be over the top to suggest informing CPS of events?

    Bookmark   June 24, 2009 at 4:36AM
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To avoid future problems, I'd tell DH that his friend cannot invite company to any of your get-to-gethers. She apparently is not the best judge of character to bring someone into your home that could harm your child. Perhaps her elevator doesn't go all the way to the top but she certainly wouldn't even be invited in the first place. Family comes first and those invited into your home are guests you consider safe. Her judgement is not safe. Lynn

    Bookmark   June 24, 2009 at 6:48AM
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when DD was little we had two neighbourhood kids who terrorised the whole area, they were maybe 4 years old the most.

One used to take big branch, come behind people and smack them with that branch. Once he came behind me on a playground and hit me wiht the branch across my legs, my legs were covered with bruises. I was in so much pain and I was an adult, can you imagine he smacked children like that. he used to hit other children on their heads, can you believe it? his mom would just say: oh don't do that baby.

And the other little girl used to scratch and bite everyone pretty bad. I can remember few more kids who were that violent at young age.

apparently it is not uncommon, but I suppose they learn it from somewhere or someone? family or maybe violent TV?

    Bookmark   June 24, 2009 at 10:11AM
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It definitely sounds very disturbing, and abnormal.

Does your Dh know the father at all? Could anyone speak to him, since you say the mom won't address the problem?

I def. would not be comfortable having that child around your kids anymore. Scary.

    Bookmark   June 24, 2009 at 11:33AM
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We do not know the father at all. Here is some facts i know.
She got pregnant after 6 months of dating him. She is a veyr pretty girl but my Dh's friend and i were wondering if she did it on purpose to make sure the guy stays....
they married, live together for another 4 years after the child was born but out of the blue...and i do mean out of the blue, he todl her straight out that he doesn't want to live his life with her and siad he's going for a divorce. We first thought..ok...family man...doesn't want it..never aksed for it in the first place..but then we thought..mmmm.. affair??? nope..no affair just wants completely out, will pay her Cs with minimum contact, no communication whatsoever.
then i meet the mother...who is very intelligent. highly educated...but i noticed she wants to party and drink and mingle.
so i'm thinking,,,,,neglect. Maybe this kid just doesnt' get enough attention , get ignored and maybe she was born with some sort of psychological problems. Its rare..but it does happen. I immediately picked it up the moment she stepped into my household but didn't think she would be violent. And she realized soon i was completely onto her and she didn't like it at all. So she is very aware at her age what she is doing and she purposely takes the individual or animal, isolates it before she begins her assaults...so she KNOWS. She's 5 but she knows...I think that is evil incarnated! I've read other stories as well with kids rare, but are born this way. They have to be hospitalized immediately.
I read one on another forum where the daugther was given up by the mother because she was harmful to her new baby brother...then with the father and sm...she held a pillow over her baby sister! Well they all had her committed. Turned out she was a psychopath. No emotions, no empathy, cruel, maticulus and planned.
EIther way, i've told my husband i never want that girl over and told his friend that she as a mother should adress these odd behaviours before someone or thing get seriously hurt.

    Bookmark   June 24, 2009 at 6:37PM
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That is horrible and I don't blame you for not wanting to have anything to do with the child, but as a human being and a member of the community, I think you need to ensure cps is informed so the child can be treated and hopefully persuaded away from this path, she could indeed be a psychopath and you don't want to hear about it on the six o'clock news down the track.

    Bookmark   June 24, 2009 at 8:43PM
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