Remarriage/steps too complicated/update
Had I known how complicated remarriage and having steps were?I'd have just opted to live with my DH.It is truly not worth the hassle.We finally had our attorney appointment and it made me realize I should have educated myself better on not only the emotional aspect but also the legal before marriage or purchasing a home together.
I found out today my DH or I either one own our lives really or future.The stepchildren do(my child included).
My DH nor I really own our home,the kids do,lol.Even a trust is not a good option.Everything(pictures,family heirlooms,your underwear...everything)has to be rolled into the trust as a free for all for the kids to decide who wants what as far as the items in your home.Yes,the steps will also help decide what of yours they want(for keeping,selling or throwing in the trash)even if it was your great granny's diamond ring or family photos.You can not have a trust and a will on the side for personal effects that have nothing to do with your spouse or stepkids.
And if you want to live in your house till death you must co own with the steps and sell only if the steps AND their spouses agree to it(this is where I have a problem on both sides as far as the step-spouses).
So the step SIL/DIL'S own you too.If one of them OR their spouses want to be difficult you are in limbo.You are stuck until you are dead even if your name is on the deed.
No selling,no renting,just living.Even if it comes to the point you have to move due to age or illness.They must give permission.Oh and if they are faced with a lawsuit,go bankrupt or get divorced...you are out of luck even having lifetime access.Bye,bye home.
Unless you have minor children together-you are up $$$ creek without a proper paddle.Renting would have been the better choice.
Anyone thinking about remarrying with children from previous marriages need to find out their state laws and ALSO talk with an attorney BEFORE remarrying let alone buying real estate together.
Just thought I would give update.It's sad some states put people through this because they have no children together.
The sad thing is,I want all of them to get their share. The only things I did not want them to have?Is control of me,my life decisions for myself only or my personal effects and private belongings.
So now there are difficult decisions to be made and I'm not sure my marriage will survive it.DH stated at the appointment his favored child will come save the day and take care of all for everyone involved.I feel like I could vomit.DH doesn't fully realize he is in the same position I am.It's not hit him yet.
Think long and hard,singles BEFORE taking the plunge!