Been Awhile

MrsProffit25June 30, 2011

Hello everyone - its been awhile since i have been on but i am back - with more drama - go fig..

BM said she would agree to our attorneys terms - well she didnt - she slipped in her own offer asking for 5 wks during the summer... DH told our attorney he didnt even want to read it just send itback.

since then alot has been going on

BM has been fighting alot with her b/f. Every visit we would hear of things going on.

last weekend SD had her over night visit with BM.

Her b.f called dh and felt the need to to let him know he kicked the door in. He said it was locked BM wouldnt open it so he kicked it. We havent seen b/f for some time just b/f calling dh. DH didnt really know what to say he asked if dd was ok and what all happened. We let attorney know the next day.

on one of sd phone calls with bm (not to be monitored but dh feels the need for obvious reasons) BM was going on and on to sd about how boyfriends are bad and cause nothing but stress - she told sd its so important she finds a good man and a good boyfriend or just stay single. sd is only 7 dh and i both felt it was so inappropriate. this lasted almost 15 minutes - finally dh did grab the phone and asked bm why she feels the need to talk to a 7 yr old about men and relationships and her problems with her b/f. she of course yelled and he hung up. ok maybe he was wrong but i must admit i agree with his decision - im used to getting negative feedback on this site so yes im ready.

brings me to today.

I had a knock at my door and looked thru my peep whole and saw bm b/f.. ugh i didnt answer. i didnt want to deal with him all day until dh got home. he went next door to my friends house. turns out - bm came home drunk last night with 3 friends and they got into an arguement - turned into a fight. (all this according to b/f) my friend say he had scratches and bite marks all over (mind you bm bit sd too when she was 1) he told my friend that all he did was push her off but since she had 3 witness to agree to her story - he was arrested. he did say CPS was going to be involved b/c a officer told them because BM hit him while holding thier dd (2) same thing she did to my dh in 2008 (hit dh while holding sd in arms) he said he wants me to take pics of him and he wants to testify against her for our custody trial july 20th. By the time i checked my phone and saw my friends text about whats going on - he was gone.I did email attorney and let her know its up to her. I know there is pros and cons so i will just do what she says. idk if im looking for advice or just wanted to tell my story.. its never ending

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would you believe it? I thought about you today wondering how is everything going...

I think DH is absolutely right that he asked BM why is she talking about relationship problems to 7-year-old (is she nuts???) and then when she yelled, he hung up. I think it was the right move. He is custodial and should not tolerate such nonsense.

as about BF and his fights with BM, i hope CPS gets involved and BM loses visitations rights with SD as well as BF gets kicked out. One thing is if they just argue, very different if physical fights take place. I think BM should be able to see SD but not unsupervised, not overnight and not 5 weeks over summer break.

I feel horrible for their other children though, what are they thinking???

Smart of you not to open the door and smart to email your attorney, do whatever attorney says and stay away from this nonsense, do not talk to neither BM nor BF, stay out (but document everything you know). I bet you, both BM and BF would want you and DH on their side, don't get involved.

I don't think you were getting negative remarks though i think most people were concerned that you and DH were getting unnecessary involved in BM's drama in the past. It seems that your current actions are wise. Keep us posted.

    Bookmark   June 30, 2011 at 4:06PM
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Wondered where you've been :)

BM is seriously nuts! I really hope you get her supervised visits only.

    Bookmark   June 30, 2011 at 5:59PM
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Welcome back

I would not even consider using BF to testify. They could get back together, he gets on the stand, your DH loses custody

Or they don't get back together, he gets on the stand, and BMs lawyer tears him apart (arrest record, drugs etc anything BM may have on him that you don't know about)

I don't know why you continue to rely on thus BF. Ignore their drama and live your lives!! He is MAD at BM and is going to say whatever to whomever because he is mad and that is how people Hurt someone that they are mad at... Until they aren't mad anymore.

I would not be sending SD over any more. I would wait for hearing in July. I also would see what CPS has to say.

My daughter's SM was arrested for starting fight with me and attacking me. She sticks to her story that I had more witnesses so that's why she was arrested. It wasn't my witnesses that got her arrested, it was her own mouth AND neighbors I didnt even know telling what happened / what they saw. So take it with a grain of salt... There are two sides to every story, he was arrested, he is bad news, he now needs people on his side and is all about testifying for your Dh because he is mad he spent a night in jail. You are going to do whatever you want to do any way -- but if I were you that BF would not be anywhere near my court hearing. You really want to be associated with a piece of work such as this guy? And for what? Because there are no other reliable witnesses to testify in your DHs behalf of what a great dad he is. I just think it would be a huge mistake and the judge will see through it. He is testifying for you after BM got him thrown in jail. How ironic.

    Bookmark   June 30, 2011 at 7:53PM
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Good advice Myfam.

    Bookmark   July 1, 2011 at 12:14AM
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It looks to me that OP says that BF WANTS to testify but she'll go with what their lawyer says, not what BF wants. Maye i am reading it wrong. In my opinion fights and police/CPS involved and fact that people get arrested in front of children should be relied to a lawyer, but BF is not a reliable witness to testify anything in court. BF and BM are both the same trash, who knows what really happened. I think it is wise to stick with what attorney says. Also i would continue not opening doors and not answering phone calls from BF.

    Bookmark   July 1, 2011 at 8:07AM
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Some attorneys are not smart. Mrs P has already told us of times that lawyer did things that remind me of ex's lawyer who keeps tightening the rope around his neck for him.

    Bookmark   July 1, 2011 at 10:40AM
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true, hopefully this attorney does not advice them anything ridiculous. this BF's nonsense is getting old, he needs to be out of everyone's life and business. i think because he was previously buddy-buddy with everyone, he thinks he should use them to get back to BM. what a mess

    Bookmark   July 1, 2011 at 4:59PM
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Attorney does want him to testify. the things he will bring are:

1. sd drinks from a sippy cup at bm
2. sd and bm sleep in bm bed sd does not sleep in her own bed time there is 10:30 - 11
4. bm showers with sd walks around naked
6. bm talks to sd about dh he is a f*g hom* never loved her
7. he will be able o validate whether o not she lied on the finacial affidavit

cps said nothing about what happened. since bf was the one who was arrested bm still has their dughter.

she is moving her friend in this weekend. her mother gave her the money to turn the electric back on snce bf had it turned off since he has to remain 500 ft away from her due to the domestic charge. he took all of his things today - including his daghters bed since he IS going to file with the courts for some sort of visitation. so that means 2 beds now instead of 3. BM bed and "sd" bed which will now probably be her other dd bed. no living room furniture and no dining room table. just beds and toys.

    Bookmark   July 2, 2011 at 12:44AM
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None of that is important except the talking about Dh but that BF is not a reliable source. Be prepared, her attorney could show that he is not reliable.
There have been times (not recently Dd is older) that I would have Dd jump in the shower with me real quick because it was faster. It wasn't until recently that I had to start shutting my door because my son is getting older but I got dressed from shower with kids watching tv on my bed. They are MY kids and I'm getting dressed and it's not like I'm saying 'hey look at my butt!'
My DS isn't fully potty trained and is almost 4. He has poop fears. My DS crawls into my bed every night/morning somewhere between 5 and 6 am. When I lived with my parents, Dd had her 'own' room but she rarely slept in her own bed because she preferred to be with me with all the chaos we had going on in our lives. My Dd often jumps in my bed now to fall asleep (while I'm still up and doing things) we move her to her bed when we go to bed. There are nights I wake up and both kids are in my bed with an elbow in my face and a foot in my jaw... Yes I move them back but it still happens especially on stormy nights.
My DS was still up at 10pm tonight because we got home late. Last night it was the same because we had swim lessons and then went to dinner. He is 3. He also still drinks out of a sippy cup. When we go somewhere in the car and Dd is thirsty she drinks from a cup with a lid. Sippy cup? I don't think I would call it that. My car protected from spills absolutely. The only thing that can validate lying on a financial statement would be a bank record. An arrested drunk? Not so sure.

Yes the woman is crazy but is there not any valid points? Nothing you say shows the child to be in physical danger. You basically describe a single mom with little means to provide. What kind of jerk takes his child's bed from the child's home? He may have every intention of filing for custody but he doesn't have custody YET! Child still needs a damn place to sleep!

I think you have valid points for your Dh to remain the primary custodial parent but to take sd away from her mom for these reasons alone? I've been laughed at by a judge for much worse aligations. And I still have custodial care of my child. I live in a town home that I don't own. It's small. Dh lives in a huge house and has a back yard and side walks for kids to ride bikes. Makes him no more fit a parent than me. I also have been down on my luck and lived with my parents and he still could not gain custody.

Good luck

    Bookmark   July 2, 2011 at 2:25AM
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their fights, arrests, sex offenders, drug abuse were all serious issues however there seem to be no proof?

None of the things your quoted in your last post sound serious enough. sure it might not be excellent way of parenting, but heck then how many people should lose their kids?

sure family you described is trashy, but heck how many families out there live this way? by this logic only people with means and advanced degrees should have custody.

also BF is a drug abuser, drunk, fights with women and goes around talking trash (takes his child's bed from the house where she lives???), i am not sure he is good reliable source of info. also the fact that he was yours and DH's friend this whole time will not play well in court if he decides to testify.

    Bookmark   July 2, 2011 at 10:38AM
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If we could get custody of my SD based off of co-sleeping and would have had it along time ago. None of that is wrong really. Plenty of people do it. Now maybe if she was sleeping with BM and BM's bf?

I would never even think of bringing that stuff up in court for fear of getting laughed at. And everyone else makes a good point too. He's not a reliable witness. He was friends with you guys and us super made at BM. His actions are retalitory. If it was me I wouldn't bring him into court.

If there is abuse in BM's home and you can show it's an unsafe place as she chooses men who kick doors in then that might be enough.

    Bookmark   July 3, 2011 at 12:47PM
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Just fyi..... we brought TONS of evidense to our lawyer when trying to gain custody of my ss..... our lawyer simply stated that they see so much REALLY bad stuff that this stuff is sooooo tiny it won't matter.

You do need to get the cps report though.

    Bookmark   July 5, 2011 at 11:25AM
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