Almost forgot

nikemamaJune 1, 2009

The best part...I had been mad because BM had been making the kids lie to DH about how bad things had got over there. Earlier in the week she and Looser BF had a court date for his DVO. SHE being her, took out the EPO but didn't show for court. In fact she was out with him and the kids getting Ice Cream the night before court. When she did that the Judge issued an order for CPS to get involved.

They went to school and interviewed the children. CPS also told BM that they would be getting hold of DH to get his report. SO then SHE had to call DH and fess up to all the crap that has been going on at the house all the stuff she has made the kids keep quiet about. They were able to really relax and have a good time this weekend. It almost felt like the old kids again. We haven't heard from the CPS guy yet but I called and found out who he is so I can make sure he has the right numbers to get hold of DH.

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is this the SS who wanted dad divorce you and then moved back wiht mom, the one who holds hands wiht dad? unbelivable that he would rather be in absuive household. would dad ask for custody?

    Bookmark   June 1, 2009 at 7:58PM
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"unbelivable that he would rather be in absuive household."

Lots of kids, if given a choice, would choose to stay with an abusive parent... they are in dysfunctional families. They might want to stay for different reasons, but they protect an abusive parent or want to please their parent so they keep secrets. It's not normal, but it does happen.

    Bookmark   June 2, 2009 at 12:56AM
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My ex was really only abusive of me, but did not hide her behaviour towards me from the kids, I guess you could say she was rather toxic.

Kids stuck right by her. Eldest wised up quite a bit, youngest still is (although might just have decided she's burned her bridges with me and is stuck with mum, I don't know.

    Bookmark   June 2, 2009 at 1:11AM
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"they protect an abusive parent"

almost *always* happens that way-
It's part of the dynamic.

The kids think that the abuse is their fault, & they often think that the abusive parent is a martyr, that the *other* parent drove him/her to violence born of total frustration.

& as pjb says, successful abusers are very good at hiding the abuse from the world, so that, if the victim complains, *nobody believes him/her*.

Think of all the newscasts where somebody's killed his kids or his girlfriend's kids or his wife or fiancee (I'm using the male pronoun because statistically it's usually a male person who resorts to the final violence), & the neighbors are all saying the same thing into the microphones:

"I just can't believe he did this.
He was such a *nice* neighbor."

    Bookmark   June 2, 2009 at 12:16PM
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