Help me in my idea of proposal

jawakaOctober 4, 2006

I'm a french guy and i've decided to make a big thing of my wedding proposal. Indeed, i want people all around the world to write to my girlfriend and tell her why i'm her soul mate and why to marry me. I want letters from England written in english, i want letters from China, i want letters from the U.S, letters from BUrundi, and so on. I know she will accept my request whatever i do but i do want to surprise her, i want something huge, as huge as my love is. Do you think it's a good idea ? Haven't you understood the idea ? It may be confused cause my english isn't very good. If you interested in helping me, i will give you my email to see how we can do that.

Thanks for having read that and if you do, for answering.

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socks

You asked, so I'll be honest: Your relationship with your fiance is private and very personal. If I were her, I would not wish to receive letters from total strangers who really know nothing about you. I don't mean to spoil your idea, but maybe others here will think it's a great idea.

I have never liked the public proposals either, like sometimes you see at a sporting event. I think you should take her for a lovely dinner in a fine restaurant or go to some other lovely, romantic setting and tell her what is in your heart, and ask her to marry you that way.

    Bookmark   October 5, 2006 at 6:49PM
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joann23456

As Socks said, you asked - and I agree with Socks. Do it privately. And count me as one who doesn't understand or like the idea of a public proposal, either.

    Bookmark   October 6, 2006 at 9:55AM
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jawaka

Your honesty honors you. Tha,k you as well for answering me.
Of course my relationship is private but to tell you the truth , we are together since 1998 and her and i know that we wil get marrien. So, i want something to surprise her because she's really the one for me. I thought it was a good idea cause i thought she would be moved by the fact i've search so many persons who just symbolise how much i love her. May be you've got an idea. I don't want to do something regular, you know, i want something, huge. Cause in all my life with her, during this 7 years, i've tried to show her how special she is for me.

    Bookmark   October 6, 2006 at 10:51AM
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socks

If you make some special efforts with flowers, music, a great location, anything that is her "favorite," she will like it!

    Bookmark   October 6, 2006 at 8:44PM
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gellchom

Keep it simple and private. Believe me ... it will be huge.

You can just ask her over breakfast or on a walk around the block. It will still be huge. It isn't the WAY you ask her that will make it huge, it is that YOU ARE ASKING. What gimmick could make that any MORE huge? Why on earth would she want to hear from a bunch of strangers? The one she wants to hear from is YOU.

I agree that public proposals seem impersonal. Men seem to think that a big production makes it more romantic, but at least for me, it would make it LESS so. I guess maybe because it would feel like he was not thinking as much about loving me and wanting to marry me as he was thinking about HIMSELF and wanting attention from an audience.

I have never heard a woman say she dreamt of a proposal on a scoreboard or by skywriting. It's a generalization, of course, but I think most of us find an intimate, private moment the romantic proposal of our dreams.

Whatever you decide to do, congratulations -- I hope she says "oui"!

    Bookmark   October 7, 2006 at 3:40PM
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sheilajoyce_gw

If you want to make it big, there are lots of ways to do so. Most require your being able to spend some money to do it. A weekend away. A fancy dinner, flowers, champagne and a ring. A hot air balloon ride, and the ring and proposal offered as you are over breathtaking scenery (but the pilot will also be with you). A HUGE box of chocolates, with the ring nestled in the center paper cup. Tell her how much you love her, etc.

The effort to make the proposal ought to be your effort, not asking others, especially strangers, to provide the effort for you. As others have said, the proposal itself will be special. Best wishes.

    Bookmark   October 7, 2006 at 5:27PM
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jawaka

I guess i'm not understandable enough. To buy flowers or chocolate, to invite her to the restaurant with champagne and so on, to prepare a week-end in a wonderful place like Rome or London, that's something i do in every day life. I don't need a proposal to be romantic and i try every day to make her feel really special. So for this one time moment of our life and in thate case of her life i should say, i want something i don't do usually. I really want her to know that i have thought of this a lot and that's what i 'm trying to do.
I would also want to say to you all that it's very kind of you to try to help me.

    Bookmark   October 9, 2006 at 6:17PM
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gellchom

Wow -- you do that kind of stuff EVERY DAY? I'm impressed!

Please understand, we aren't questioning your ideas about romance. But you asked, and we're answering. None of us here would want a bunch of letters from strangers who knew about the proposal before we did. (In fact, that would kind of creep me out.)

I would like to think that when my sweetheart proposed, he would be thinking, "I love her so much; I hope so much she says yes." NOT, "Boy, she is going to be so impressed with how clever I am. Hey, I wonder if this will be in the papers and on TV!"

My friend's then-boyfriend took a bite of an ordinary dinner she had made and said, "This is really good meatloaf. ... Will you marry me?" That was almost 30 years ago, and I still remember, so you know it really made an impression on me. This guy wasn't looking for attention or a creativity prize; he was letting her know that these ORDINARY times together were what he wanted forever. And they have a wonderful marriage to this day, by the way.

You say you want something you "don't do usually." Well, you DO usually make big gestures; every day, in fact, you say, so don't do that now. What you DON'T usually do is ASK HER TO MARRY YOU! Get it?! So if you really want to surprise her, let it come out of the blue in a very ORDINARY moment. I promise, it will be HUGE, HUGE, HUGE.

Bon chance!

    Bookmark   October 11, 2006 at 5:44PM
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jennmonkey

I typed in "creative marriage proposal ideas" to Google and hundreds of sites came up with good ideas. Go browse through some of those and see if you can come up with anything. Although I would prefer something more intimate myself, I think it's sweet that you are trying to do something creative and fun!

    Bookmark   October 13, 2006 at 4:49PM
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weddingchic80

I like your idea. Every couple is different, some are more private than others. We don't know this girl, you do. So you would know if she would like somthing like this or not. If you want my help, I'll be happy to do it.

    Bookmark   October 18, 2006 at 9:41AM
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gellchom

weddingchic80 is right. We don't know this woman, and the OP does.

So I guess just take my remarks as a general observation. I think a lot of guys make things much harder on themselves by trying to think of the "perfect" proposal (or gift, or celebration, etc.) because they think in the abstract, not of the woman in question. It's so much easier if you realize that what will mean the most to her isn't what gets in the newspapers or amazes your friends, but giving her HER heart's desire. What is that? Her sweetheart should know; she's already told him. Think back. What means the most to her? What is her dream? Would she like to go to the moon? Buy her a telescope. Does she cry whenever she sees "Casablanca"? Get her a framed poster. It's different for every woman (and man), but if you have been listening, you'll know what it is that will touch her most.

    Bookmark   October 18, 2006 at 11:52AM
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