Am I reading this wrong?
The situation with my SS is sad. He determined long ago how to manipulate his mom and has wormed himself into a life of non accomplishment. Now at 19 he is entering the real world at a huge deficit. Now DW knows she has made his situation worse by babying him but I do not think she grasps how much she does so. Case in point.
Yesterday SS and I got into a verbal bout over a chore he failed to accomplish for the 3rd time over a period of about 2 weeks. The 19 y/o male left the house and refused to come home because "he was tired of being yelled at" (as he told his mom). So I get the cold treatment from the DW. I ask her, "what would you have done?"
So she says, "first off I would not have asked him to do something he has not done by himself before".
Stop right there and think about that comment.
Do you think I asked the 19 y/o healthy male to rebuild the engine in the Subaru? Maybe I asked him to paint the trim on the house or install a garage door opener? The chore in question was to bury a 1/2 inch sprinkler line in the dirt. This was not 32 feet of 1/2 inch sprinkler line that needed to be buried. This was about 15 inches of 1/2 inch sprinkler line that needed to be reburied. All he needed to do was to dig a little tiny ditch and bury a 1/2 inch sprinkler line. I ended up doing it. It took 10 minutes and a screw driver (used for digging).
Am I off base? Does DW not see how much she allows this kid ( young man) to milk her sympathy? The other end of that conversation had to be: "But Mom I never did that before and did not know what to do and the mean Man YELLED at me".