More tangled relationship stuff

scarlett2001October 21, 2009

Boy, these folks are clueless. They have addressed an invitation to the bride's aunt (and her husband) and included "MaryLou", their daughter. However, MaryLou is 24. Should she not have her own invitation, plus "guest"?

Wonder if she will be seated at the kiddies' table?

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duckie

MaryLou should recieve her own invitation. However, 'plus guest' is not necessary.

What did they decide for the invitation wording? They must have decided if they are up to addressing invitations.

    Bookmark   October 21, 2009 at 5:59AM
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sue36

I agree with Duckie. A 24 yo gets their own invitation, but a guest is not mandatory (now, is she is engaged or married, that is something else entirely).

    Bookmark   October 21, 2009 at 10:59AM
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sweeby

If Mary Lou lives with her parents, I'd overlook the faux pas. The 'and guest' is entirely separate -- but hey, since we're 'dissing' Mary Lou anyway... ;-)

On the kiddie table, that actually happened to me when I was 21 and engaged to Ex. At his brother's wedding, 22 y.o. Ex (brother of the 23 y.o. groom) and I were seated in the very back of the hall with groom's 16 y.o. sister, 18 y.o. brother and six of the bride's under-10 cousins. Many years later, it still rankles...

    Bookmark   October 21, 2009 at 1:17PM
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asolo

"Boy, these folks are clueless."

Yup. World's full of 'em.

    Bookmark   October 22, 2009 at 9:00PM
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gellchom

Oh, I don't know, I know it's incorrect, but I see plenty of invitations sent to the whole family, especially if the young adults are still living at home or are in school. So I wouldn't call them "clueless" over this. Think of it like including a response card -- it isn't actually correct, but it's so common that I can't call people "clueless" for doing it.

And they definitely were not "clueless" not to put "and guest" on the invitation, even if they had sent the daughter her own. You can do it if you like, but it is certainly not required, nor is it incorrect to omit it.

Sweeby, it doesn't sound like you were at the "kiddie" table, but at the siblings' and cousins' table. They were treating you like family. It might not be as much fun for you as a table full of your friends, but I can't call that a "dis." It's not always easy to do the tables, anyway -- there is usually one that includes both, say, young adults and college students, or college and high school. I'm sure the 20-somethings resent being placed with the students, or college with high school, but the hosts are probably just thinking of it as "young singles" or something -- guest lists rarely work themselves out into neat groups of 8 or 10 of a kind, you know! So someone has to bridge the gap, just as someone has to sit at the leg of the table. Listen, think what we have to put up with: as a clergy couple, can you imagine what it's like when people put us with the religious relatives from out of town? Party, party, party! But they have to seat them someplace. We make the best of it and have fun anyway.

    Bookmark   October 22, 2009 at 11:22PM
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mary_md7

"Boy, these folks are clueless."

Let's send the etiquette police after them to lock them up? ;=) In the cosmic scheme of social faux pas, this is kind of low on the list.

And I agree that "and guest" is not required. Nobody is required to invited unknown strangers to their wedding.

    Bookmark   November 8, 2009 at 8:09AM
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