Niece getting married

susan_in_ncSeptember 26, 2005

I just received a shower invitation for a shower for my niece. Now, I donÂt truly have a question, just want to vent!

Several years ago, after her parents broke up in a nasty separation (so I do understand where the hurt came from) she told some members of my family that she didnÂt want to have anything to do with us. She had been close to my daughter (who is just a few months younger than she is). We were told that although we had not done anything to her YET, she just couldnÂt trust any of us. Now for the part that is hurtful to me  my family had never been supportive to her. All contact was broke with us, but contact was maintained with one of my sisters (who partied with the nieceÂs dad). Family friends in another state heard over a year ago about the upcoming wedding. We have not been told anything nor have we been invited to the wedding.

So, now I have an invitation to the shower, given by the brideÂs sister. By the way, MOB was a BIG etiquette snob that told my family that we were gauche. Invitation as said is from immediate family, plus it has registry information printed on the bottom of the invitation. Plus, when I did go look at the list, there are two different dates for the wedding, one about 6 months from now, the other in 2007!

Now, as I said  this was to vent. Yes, she is my niece and despite some callous treatment by a very immature young lady, I will respond as a loving Aunt, even if the wedding invitation never is sent  but needed to get some grief out of my system! I see a Bridezilla on her way . . .

The shower is several hours from where I live, and as a joke, I have considered arriving to "Surprise" my nieces and announce that I was "staying with them to catch up". Of course, I would never do that, but it is fun to roll it around a bit.

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you wrote:
my family had never been supportive to her.

Was this what you meant to write?

Bcs if it is, of course she didn't want to stay in touch.

But if you meant "never been ANYTHING BUT supportive," then I can understand your hurt.

I'm sorry to hear of the rift in your family, and to hear that this invitation is not becoming something that would heal the rift.

I know that I invited people to my wedding as a way to rekindle a neglected friendship; it worked, for a while. I'm sorry this isn't going to happen in your family's case.

Best of luck!

    Bookmark   September 28, 2005 at 1:06PM
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Yes, my typo.we have been very supportive. My older sister who is also being cut off (brother said we aren't "fun enough") went to great trouble to "remeber" nieces when she and her husband were unemployed -- hand making the most amazing dresses and dolls. When asked what happened to these gifts, she once said her mom told her they didn't match "her style" and they gave them away. Similar things were made for my children and I assure you they were priceless.

My sister feels that this shower invitation is just to see what they can "get out of us" not a way to draw the family closer. I tend to agree, but will respond -- maybe not as generously as I would for other nieces who have not cut us out of their lives.

Now, I have re-read this. However, I have always had a problem finding my own errors -- I read it the way I meant to type it!

    Bookmark   September 28, 2005 at 3:21PM
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