Well, the woman showed up 30 mins early! I imagine that is typical, as maybe they want to *catch* you off guard.
Things were fine. DH had just gotten back from the bakery w/a dozen donuts, and the kids were happy as could be.
CPS worker was SUPER nice. She was up front and said she needed to speak with each of the kids alone, individually. DD wanted to go first, and was totally happy about it, so that was good. (I admit, I went in the bathroom and shed a few tears for a minute over the audacity of the situation. My daughter, whom I love more than life itself, and take precious care of is talking to CPS??? UNREAL.) I composed myself, though.
Anyway, then SS went. HEach child probably talked for about 10 mins.
Then the caseworker came down and DH and I said we wanted to speak with her privately, out of the kids' earshot. We went out on the front porch and talked for about 30 mins.
We gave her the background about the custody case, alcohol involvement, etc. She could (obviously) not confirm or deny that BM made the allegation, but DUH--we are not stupid. We do KNOW BM called the police, and at first we thought the police notified CPS, but we now think BM called CPS, as well.
The official report from her to CPS was that SS had a bruise on his wrist last Friday that looked like a thumbprint. BM told CPS I was "dragging him around the house by his wrist."
AUUUGHHHH. Just hearing the *official allegation* made me want to vomit.
The good news is---SS vehemently denies any of this. He did tell the worker he had a bruise on his wrist last week, but doesn't know what it was from. He TOLD HER that his MOM told him it was my thumbprint! This is actually really good b/c the caseworker said he said it TWICE---that his MOM told him it was from me. The caseowrker asked him if I've ever hurt him and he said NO. She asked about DH hurting him and he said NO.
She checked him over and there are no bruises anywhere.
She said she finds it odd that this *supposed* bruise was from last Friday, but wasn't reported for almost week.
She said she asked the kids what happens if they get in trouble and they both said they get grounded or sent to time out. She asked what grounded means, and they said it means no tv and computer.
She asked about spankings and DD said it almost never happens, and SS said dad spanks sometimes but almost never. :)
She said they are both happy, and healthy, and everything is fine. Her conclusion is the house is safe. Nothing further required.
Unfortunately, this will stay in the CPS system indefinitely. She said this is actually good in terms of documenting harrassment, though.
She did stress for our safety that we need to document ANY injury. If it is anything remotely bad enough, she told DH to take SS to the doctor for a letter of explantion---ie, SS falls down the stairs, bumps his head or something.
It is really sucky that we are even in this position in the first place.
She said she is closing the case out today and we can expect a letter in the mail in the next week saying so.
"Kids bruise easily. I'd imagine that if you did bruise him it was accidental"
Wanted to comment on this: There is NO WAY in high hell I gave him whatever bruise was supposedly on his wrist. I cannot REMEMBER the last time I held his hand, or took him anywhere. I haven't been alone w/the kids in quite awhile b/c DH has really taken the initiatve w/working flex hours and being more available to his son. Really, I can't remember the last time I even held SS's hand or anything?
I don't think the "bruise" was anything to write home about. If it HAD been that bad, BM would have taken pics, taken him to the police, etc. I think she is just OFF HER ROCKER and saw a small bruise that could have been from ANYTHING and ran like the wind with it.
DH said that yesterday as he left BM's house, BM told SS" that was ____'s thumbprint on your wrist" and SS himself got really angry at her and said "no, it's not mom, stop fighting about nothing!" DH said he was really angry at her. The worst part is, then BM got mad at SS and told him "whatever' and stormed inside the house. THAT is what scares me. She withdraws her affection from him if he doesn't say what she wants. In DH's presence, SS might be strong enough to stand up to her, but when SS is alone with BM, who knows what he will say or agree to.
THAT TERRIFIES ME.
I am really shaken---relieved today is over---but just questioning everything about my life here.