Thank-You notes when bride & groom have terrible handwriting

chinchilla_queenSeptember 24, 2009

My daughter, the bride-to-be, has atrocious, illegible handwriting and her fiance's isn't any better. Could I handwrite their thank-you notes and sign my daughter's name? No one would be the wiser because she uses the computer to write everything, so nobody is familiar with her handwriting.

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talley_sue_nyc

well, I think people wouldn't know. But I also think they would mind, if they found out ever. I know *I* would.

And actually, one of the purposes of writing the thank-you notes (or, maybe that's "one of the valuable offshoots") is that the bride & groom get the "emotional bonding" that comes from their having spent their time on the notes, thinking about the people who gave them the present.

I'd vote for them writing the notes with their illegible handwriting. I bet it's not THAT illegible. As long as someone can eventually figure out what they've written, that's preferable to having someone else do their chores for them.

Or they could type them, esp. since people are used to her doing that.

They're grownups--nobody's mother should be writing their thank-you notes for them. ;-)

    Bookmark   September 24, 2009 at 8:09PM
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chinchilla_queen

You're right, they should write their own thank-yous. My daughter is studying to be a nurse-practitioner, so she'll have to improve her handwriting in order to write legible prescriptions eventually, anyway! I've been working very closely with her and her fiance on the wedding plans, but I'd better back off from getting too carried away where I don't belong.

    Bookmark   September 25, 2009 at 12:11AM
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asolo

".....they should write their own thank-yous."

Period.

It is a courtesy and a duty that they should learn if they don't know.

    Bookmark   September 25, 2009 at 1:03PM
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gellchom

A thank you note is about expressing gratitude, not about providing an example of calligraphy. Unless both your arms are broken or something, having anyone else doing it for you completely defeats the purpose.

Try not even to think about this. Don't say a word to them about their handwriting or how they should do their thank you notes. They know what their handwriting looks like. The notes are their responsibility and their handwriting is their problem, and it's their business to come up with a solution -- indeed, I presume they already have. I certainly hope these aren't the first thank you notes or letters they've ever written. If they are, they have bigger problems than poor handwriting.

Talley Sue's advice is perfect, and your own advice to yourself about backing off and not getting too carried away is excellent, too!

    Bookmark   September 25, 2009 at 11:45PM
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sweeby

As a gift-giver, I care only that the recipient liked the gift (or has the good manners to pretend to) and writes a note saying so. If I can't read their handwriting, I might think what messy handwriting!, but never what poor manners...

    Bookmark   September 28, 2009 at 11:15AM
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sue36

I have horrible handwriting (too many years in school taking notes, combined with some issues with my hand), but if I really try, and write slowly (and don't try to do too many in one sitting), I can write neatly enough. My grandmother had atrocious writing, sometimes I needed my mother to decipher it for me. But I treasured her letters. Past the age of 6 a person should write their own notes.

    Bookmark   September 28, 2009 at 9:00PM
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