Manners at rehearsal and at Wedding......

SunnyDJSeptember 27, 2013

Here I go again, last year it seemed I was complaining about kids in weddings, now it's manners....I am the coordinator at our church and I'm beginning to think I've seen it all.....Along with the kids, I've had the groomsmen get out of their bus In front of the church, carrying beer bottles..They they stood and drank...Guess who gathered the bottles out of the bushes...Well, this same group had another wedding last Sat....Once again, the men got off the bus with a cooler..I was ready and told them if there was anything that didn't belong in church to just take it back to the bus! We had rehearsal and then at the wedding, they forgot half of what they were to do, to the point of not going to light the unity candle...After the wedding, this huge and I mean huge wedding party came back into the church for pictures...At one point, they made so much noise, our priest came and had to remind them where they were and had to ask the photographer to please not stand on the pew.....This behavior wouldn't go any other time, why would they think it was OK for a wedding......I have 2 more weddings in the next couple of weeks and I'm hoping and praying I have no problems....My advice, ELOPE!

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I sympathize with you. I am an independent wedding planner and I have either seen it or my church coordinator friends have told me about it. One church coordinator told me about a bride whose younger brother is a skate boarding champion. She wanted to put a ramp up the steps leading to the front of the church (altar area), then have her brother skateboard in to light the candles at the beginning of the ceremony!!

Another church coordinator told me about a western style wedding where the couple brought in bales of straw and set them all over at the front of the church. When they left, they took the bales but left all the straw particles that fell off all over the floor. They also used dry ice to create "fog" for the groom and officiant to enter through!! Fortunately, I haven't had any quite that silly.

I have, however, helped a couple of churches create guidelines they share with the bride. They collect a refundable deposit from the bride (separate check), which puts the bride on notice that her wedding party had better behave. When people do goofy things, the bride loses her deposit.

    Bookmark   September 28, 2013 at 7:30PM
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I think sweet pea's on the right track.

Get a refundable deposit for clean-up/repairs for every wedding. Have written rules for wedding parties and make sure they are given to every couple when they set their wedding date. Then you should go over the rules at some point prior to the rehearsal, just to make sure.

Although I never would have thought that, "Don't show up drunk to the rehearsal" would be necessary.

And it does make you wonder why they wanted to get married in a church, since they don't seem to have any respect for the building or the religion.

    Bookmark   September 29, 2013 at 2:38PM
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Unfortunately, all too often men show up drunk or nearly drunk for the rehearsal and on the wedding day. They seem to equate weddings with partying. When a non-religious couple has a church wedding, it is usually the bride's desire. It may have been part of her dream since she was little, while the groom could care less.

    Bookmark   September 30, 2013 at 11:04AM
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Until last year, my husband did wedding photography, so I tagged along to help. I could NOT believe some of the things I saw! Including one priest who refused to marry the couple because the bride was falling down drunk. (later her mother apologized, saying the bride had taken "a little something for her nerves" and then had a glass of wine.) I dunno...

    Bookmark   October 1, 2013 at 2:46AM
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We are in the process of updating our booklet and it will include, No drinking etc.., But, isn't it a shame, if a couple is old enough to get married, you'd think they'd be sensible enough not to do some of these stupid things....I know, our priest now tells the couples, If he does smell any alcohol, he won't allow them to be married in the church that day......
I have another small wedding this weekend and I did tell the organist, if it's anything like the last one, I'll race her to the altar wine, lol......

    Bookmark   October 1, 2013 at 5:49PM
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The worst one I saw was, when the bride and groom were supposed to kiss, she threw her leg up on him and started making humping motions, right at the altar. Nobody could believe their eyes.

    Bookmark   October 9, 2013 at 3:00AM
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