Mother of the groom to be needs help!!!!

yorkibearSeptember 11, 2006

Ok I have been reading all the posts related to who is invited to the rehearsal dinner and should invitations be sent. My question is this, I know Bridal party is Maid of Honor, bride and bridesmaids, groom, best man, groomsmen and ushers,. I'm sure the flower girl and ring bearer are included in the bridal party. I think I am right in all of this to assume everyone that is or should be at the rehearsal is invited to the rehearsal dinner with the parents and everyone's SO or parents of the little ones. My question is....what about the servers for the cake and food after the wedding? They don't need to be at the rehearsal but are they included in the dinner? Musicians, candle lighters and readers are invited too right? I need some input pretty quick. Thanks

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lowspark

I would say that only people who are participating in the actual ceremony would need to be included. Plus, as you note, SOs & parents of little ones. But cake & food servers - I'd leave them out.

It's also sometimes expected that out of town guests will be invited if they've already arrived in town by the time the rehearsal dinner is held.

    Bookmark   September 11, 2006 at 5:34PM
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sweet_pea10

I would invite musicians, readers, and candlelighters only if they are friends of the bride or groom and you would enjoy having them there. If they are associated with the church and are providing their services, then I wouldn't include them.

    Bookmark   September 11, 2006 at 11:35PM
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duckie

I'd say, include all of the people who are involved in the wedding (including cake servers) if they are involved because they are close to the bride and groom. If they are involved because you got a good recommendation or they "come with the church" then leave them out.

    Bookmark   September 12, 2006 at 9:25AM
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gellchom

I would think in terms of these people's relationship to the couple and families, not their role at the wedding. Think about who you want at that dinner (including how big you want/can afford for it to be), not about who will be doing what at the wedding. If one of two nieces is a bridesmaid and another is serving food, I'd invite them both. I'd be more inclined to include a sibling who isn't an attendant than a friend from work who is serving cake. In any case, I would include all immediate family (and SOs) and grandparents, too.

If someone's feelings are hurt, it won't matter that you followed some sort of iron-clad rule about who is to be invited to a rehearsal dinner -- even if there were one, which there isn't.

    Bookmark   September 12, 2006 at 11:20AM
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talley_sue_nyc

also, be sure the bride weighs in--she may feel it's not necessary to invite the cake server.

    Bookmark   September 12, 2006 at 9:15PM
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marge727

We have been invited to several informal rehearsal dinners because we were guests who came a long distance, and family. Mostly the rehearsal dinners are family, and those who were in the wedding party.
The rehearsal dinner doesn't have to be at an exclusive restaurant--if the number of people is large--it can be a picnic, a gathering at a home with catering, or even a pot luck. I've seen every variation.

    Bookmark   September 29, 2006 at 4:00AM
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bostondj

Although this has been stated, it would be unusual for musicians to be invited to the rehearsal dinner. I've been a wedding dj for over 20 years & played at many ceremonies. I've never been invited to the rehearsal dinner. (Might be fun though)

Best of luck,

Greg
5 Star Events

    Bookmark   October 30, 2006 at 2:11AM
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gellchom

I am guessing that by "musicians" she meant friends or relatives who will be playing instruments or singing at the ceremony, not a professional dj or band member who will be playing at the reception or even for the processional.

    Bookmark   November 2, 2006 at 11:27AM
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sweet_pea10

I agree. Often a church pianist or organist is a family friend as well as the church musician and in that case, they should be included.

    Bookmark   November 2, 2006 at 3:35PM
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susanjf_gw

at our rehersal dinner it was who DIDN'T come, lol...bride's parents are still feuding after 20+ years...anyway, went the casual pizza place near the chapel (inside a historical village)

for our older son, it was in the backyard, bbq, and we had nearly 50 people! (lot's of out if towners)

    Bookmark   November 3, 2006 at 8:36PM
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