Announcement wording

jamie_mtAugust 10, 2004

Hi all! My wedding date is fast approaching (Sept. 4th), and I'm scurrying around this month trying to get the little details nailed down before the big day. I have to say, I'm impressed with those of you who can plan those big weddings - I honestly think I'd go *insane* if I had that to deal with too (my fiance and I are also buying a house this month - we close one week before the wedding).

Anyways, one of the things I have to finish are my announcements, to be mailed the week after the wedding (so I can include a photo). They will be fairly simple, I'll buy some nicely decorated paper (just laser printer paper) from Office Max or Kinkos or something to print them on, so nothing *too* involved, but I'm trying to figure out the correct wording to use that isn't *too* formal, but not something like, "Hey world, we got hitched!" LOL

So here's what I've got - I'm having trouble with the first couple lines (they just don't seem to read very smoothly), so if you have any comments or suggestions, I would appreciate them! :-)

Announcing the marriage of

Hisname and Jamie Lastname

September 4, 2004

in a private ceremony

The Lastnames will reside at

(our new street address)

Billings, MT

I feel like I need the "private ceremony" thing so that my relatives know that *none* of them were invited - I wasn't just playing favorites (trust me, my family is a "fair for all or nothing for all" type family). Other than that, any of the wording is fair game if anyone has a better idea...

Thanks!! :-)

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chloecat

Hisname Hislastname
and
Jamie Herlastname
Married
September 4, 2004
in
Billings, Montana

At home
123 Main Street
Billings, Montana

    Bookmark   August 10, 2004 at 5:49PM
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chloecat

Oh, I forgot!!!

I think the "private ceremony" would be more exclusionary than leaving it off. If I got an announcement with "private ceremony" on it, I'd be more bent out of shape than I would with just a "plain" announcement!!! But that's my opinion, and worth exactly what you paid for it! :-)

    Bookmark   August 10, 2004 at 5:52PM
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joann23456

I like Chloe's wording. I agree that the "private ceremony" would make me feel that some were included and I wasn't. But I understand what you're saying about your family.

Can you rely on word-of-mouth, or does it have to be on the announcement? If it has to be in writing, how about "in a small ceremony." It conveys the fact that few were invited, without implying that any of your family members aren't part of your inner circle. Even if they really aren't.

Not sure if this is a distinction without a difference, but I thought I'd offer it.

And I hope everything goes well for you - both for the wedding and your new home. I've read some of your posts, and the home sounds great.

    Bookmark   August 10, 2004 at 6:04PM
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jamie_mt

No, that's feedback I need and appreciate, so thank you! Might have to rethink the private ceremony thing. Two other things:

1. I am taking his last name (no hyphenating or anything like that), so I should use that since these will be after the wedding, correct?

2. It seems a little "cold" to just put the names and date and that's that, you know? That's why I was trying to come up with something "Announcing" or "he and I were married on..." or something a little "warmer", if you know what I mean.

Thanks a bunch - I appreciate it! :-)

    Bookmark   August 10, 2004 at 6:06PM
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grace3

Jamie,

1. I would still use "Jamie Yourlastname and Fiance Hislastname were married on...," with "The Hislastname's will be at home at Address"...This conveys the information that you are taking his last name, while still identifying exactly who it was that got married!

2. I agree that the "private ceremony" wording seems more *exclusionary* than *warm*. Would it be possible for you identify more specifically the parameters of the guest list? For instance "...were married on Date in the presence of their parents", or "in the presence of their parents and siblings". It seems to me that this gives the warm feeling that you are looking for, while still conveying the limited guest list message.

    Bookmark   August 10, 2004 at 6:24PM
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jamie_mt

Thanks Joann...I could rely on word of mouth for my family, but not necessarily his family or friends who aren't really connected to anyone else in our circle, but would still have expected an invite if we were having a "traditional" wedding. So I feel like I should say something, though I know it's not really kosher. Thanks for the good wishes! :-)

Thank you grace, that is *exactly* what I was looking for! And I agree, using my maiden name for the announcement will identify *me*...just wasn't sure how to convey the new last name too.

And I like that, "in the presence of thier parents and siblings" which is exactly what it will be - no one should feel left out then (well, no more than they already do). ;-)

So what if I did something like:

Jamie Mylastname and Fiance Hislastname
were married on September 4, 2004
in the presence of thier parents and siblings.

The Hislastnames will make thier home at
our new address
city state

(I'm not fond of the phrase "at home", though I know that it's the customary formal wording - think this will work?)

Now I feel like I need a phrase at the top to sort of "open" the whole thing gently - nothing terribly "girly", but something to...I don't know, I just think I need something. LOL

Like "Our new journey has begun..." or "We've begun another chapter..." something along those lines to make it a little more decorative.

    Bookmark   August 10, 2004 at 6:56PM
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grace3

How about "We've only just begun..." (in some kind of decorative script), with little musical notes before and after the phrase?

    Bookmark   August 10, 2004 at 7:00PM
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sweet_pea10

If you want something a bit less formal, yet fun, that will convey the message, you might begin with something like:

Jamie lastname and (groom) tied the knot!
or
Jamie lastnamee and (groom) got hitched! (took the plunge, etc.)
September 4, 2004
in Billings, Montana

They will make their home.....

If you go with something like "tied the knot," you could put a narrow ribbon at the top of the announcement. If you start with something fun like that, you don't need to mention the type of ceremony at all and few people will notice.

    Bookmark   August 10, 2004 at 7:12PM
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snoopfan

What you have is fine - I think it sounds very nice. To the person who said "We've only just begun......." No offense, but.......yuk. That is totally cheesy.

    Bookmark   August 10, 2004 at 11:32PM
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joann23456

If you don't like the formal wording and have the time, handwritten notes would be nice. Of course, with a wedding a new house, you may well not have much extra time!

    Bookmark   August 10, 2004 at 11:43PM
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sheilajoyce_gw

Jamie lastname and Harry last name
are happy to announce
their marriage
on date

How about something like that for the first part? Did you check Emily Post's suggestions?

    Bookmark   August 11, 2004 at 2:01AM
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jamie_mt

"are happy to announce thier marriage" - I like that Sheila, thank you! :-)

Joann, I really would rather do handwritten notes (in nice little notecards), but there will be around 50 of them to send out, between my family (huge) his family, and our friends (mutual and exclusive)...I just don't think I'll have time to get them all done with everything else going on right now. But I agree, that would be the best way to do it.

Thanks grace, but that really doesn't fit for us...we've been dating for 7 yrs now, so "only just begun" would be kind of an understatement. It would probably be more appropriate to annouce that we "finally did it!". ;-) But thanks!

But this actually works for me - if I use "are happy to annouce thier marriage", I feel like that's "complete" by itself - no introductory opening needed. So they would read like this:

Jamie mylastname and Brent hislastname
are happy to announce thier marriage
on September 4, 2004.

[wedding picture in the middle]

The Hislastnames will make thier home at
our new address
city, state

If I leave off the *place* of the wedding, then everyone can draw what conclusions they will, and they can just "gossip" about where among themselves...that will probably work best.

Thanks ladies - problem solved!! :-)

    Bookmark   August 11, 2004 at 11:43AM
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chloecat

Jamie - I like what you decided on! It's great!!!

    Bookmark   August 11, 2004 at 12:02PM
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talley_sue_nyc

I like the

"the Hislastname's will make their home at"

Because it tells people what YOUR last name will be. That's always one of the awkward thing, now that "not changing your name" is an option. I always am at a loss. Did she keep her name? Did she change it?

Your solution answers it.

(we released that info, along w/ our address, on the back page of our wedding program, and put:
Our New Address
William Hislastname
Talley Sue Herlastname
address
city, state ZIP)

I wish I'd done announcements; I wasn't thinking.

    Bookmark   August 16, 2004 at 3:43PM
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jamie_mt

I was worried about that too, TS...to the point that the return address on the envelopes will read "Brent and Jamie Hislastname" instead of just "The Hislastnames" so it will be crystal clear. I guess I figure if I'm going through all the trouble (paperwork) of changing my name, I want people to know and use it. LOL

I did change "are happy to announce" to "are pleased to announce" - just sounded a little better. And DF insisted on the phrase "May your good wishes be your only gift to us" (actually, he just wanted "No Gifts, Please") after I spent almost an hour trying to convince him that it was the height of rudeness to mention gifts in any way, shape, or form - he was very, very firm about it, so I gave in, since he has pretty much no say in anything else. But it is at the very bottom, in very small, gray lettering, so hopefully most will overlook it? I can only hope...

Men. *sigh*

I decided not to print the picture *on* the announcement either...that will allow me to print all the announcements up ahead of time, stuff the envelopes, and just add a picture before mailing, instead of spending a day the weekend after we're married printing all the announcements out.

Honestly, I don't know how people do the "big wedding" thing...even this seems like a lot of work, and I don't have to worry about invitations or response cards or anything like that! LOL

    Bookmark   August 16, 2004 at 6:16PM
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talley_sue_nyc

almost no one will be insulted by the "no gifts line"--not nearly as insulted as they'd be by a registry card. So you'll be OK. and his wording is nicer than "no gifts."

The people who want to give a gift (I'm one of those) will do so anyway.

    Bookmark   August 16, 2004 at 7:01PM
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gellchom

Talley Sue is right, as usual. Although you are correct that even "no gifts, please" is "incorrect," (because even though it is not greedy, it is still making a connection between making an announcement (or invitation) and the idea that the recipient might wish to give you a gift), it certainly is not in any way offensive or tacky or rude or anything like that. Many people who "know better" go ahead and write "no gifts" anyway, because the etiquette lapse is so minor and there is no negative message, only the completely inoffensive message that "we really are just sharing this good news with you; we aren't doing this to ask for a gift."

Like Talley Sue, I don't let "no gifts, please," stop me from sending a gift if I want to!

I'd stick with the plain wording. I know it seems sort of cold or formal to you. But I don't find announcements or invitations with only the traditional wording cold or formal when I receive them, and in fact something that seems cutesy or too mushy almost seems LESS personal, somehow -- sort of like a printed greeting card, if you know what I mean. Miss Manners says something like it's better to let your happiness simply shine through plain wording, rather than to lard on stuff like "a celebration of our love" that suggests that perhaps the couple is protesting too much ... ?

I suggest this wording:

Jamie mylastname and Brent hislastname
were married
on September 4, 2004.

The Hislastnames now reside at
our new address
city, state
phone number
e-mail address (!)

I'd leave out anything about "Private" or "Parents and siblings." If you are including a photo, they will see that you aren't in a huge wedding gown, etc., so they will know it was a small ceremony. The close friends and relatives will already know exactly who was there, so they won't feel hurt, and the ones that aren't close enough to have heard the news aren't close enough to feel offended anyway, especially if you put the "no gifts, please" notation on, so they know they aren't being hinted to for gifts.

    Bookmark   August 18, 2004 at 10:48PM
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jamie_mt

The announcments are all printed up...as I outlined above, and stuffed in envelopes. So that's done - just have to put the return address on the envelopes. I'm waffling on printing labels to use as "seals", or hand writing the return address on all 56 envelopes. I guess if I hand-wrote all of them, I'd get used to my new name and address, eh? Lots of work though - I did address each envelope by hand.

Now my FMIL is "waffling" on whether she really *is* okay with us having the wedding in her back yard or not...thank goodness we have two other places to go if she decides she can't handle it - I just hope she decides soon (you know, since the wedding is 2 weeks from Sat and all...)! Glad I didn't put any sort of location or who was attending on those announcements!!! ;-)

    Bookmark   August 19, 2004 at 11:17AM
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party-poet

Jamie,
I think your wedding sounds sweet and simple so your choice for wording is perfect. I am a bit confused as to the family all or none. You won't receive any back lash for not invitine some of them, will you? Since a wedding is such a huge milestone some people get a bit hurt about that. You, however, know your family dynamics better than anyone. Wedding etiquette, or any pary etiquette, is about making your guests comfortable including yourself. Before during and after the celebration.
Best Wishes
Kristie

    Bookmark   August 19, 2008 at 11:30AM
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western_pa_luann

ummm... Kristie, this thread is 4 years old!

    Bookmark   August 19, 2008 at 5:47PM
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